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[_x4letterwordx_]

Where do I begin? Last night I received some very unexpected information from the girl I speak so highly of. She has a boyfriend... When I found out, I didn't know how to react. It was eating me alive inside but I was holding it all back trying to control myself and try to take it all in. I had so many scenarios going through my mind about who

Comments

[anonymous]

i just want to cry so hard right now... i dont know what else to say to you..jimmy you are awesome... one of the best guys i have ever met. and i have never had anyone appreciate me the way you do, with everything you say and do, it amazes me. i dont understand it actually.. i am nothing special i promise. i truly apologize if i lead you on or anything, but i SWEAR i totally liked you. like all of spring break i kept thinking about how much i wanted to go to fgcu so that i could be by you. and you are not "out of sight, out of mind"... i think about you everyday jimmy. i just know that it cant be. not now. who knows what the future will bring but for now it cant. and honestly, i didnt even know that you felt this strongly. i wish you would have told me so then i would have handled it differently. but what i really want to say is dont change. i am so sorry i hurt you, and trust me i never had any intentions of doing so, but thats what i liked about you.. you arent like other guys. youre so funny, sweet, sincere, easy to talk to.. i could go on if you like :) but ANY girl would be lucky to have you and should be dying for you attention. i hope you find one good enough for you thou.. thats the tricky part. and about the relationship issue.. it kinda snuck up on me. i know that sounds like an excuse, and im not denying that i agreed to it. but it wasnt like i was purposely trying to decieve you. i definitely want you to be a part of my life, but if its too hard then i understand. i am willing to compromise with you as well. please stay close if you can.. i will miss you too...

[_x4letterwordx_]

Please, no tears. I hate when someone feels like shit because of me and I'm not there physically to fix it. I told you from the beginning, the second night I knew you even, that I get very attached to who I like. But I guess I should have ellaborated more. Even though you don't think you're "special", I think you're the most incredible, down to earth, considerate person I have ever met. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Maybe I should've been a little more clear on my feelings, but I figured that poem would have said it for me. I wont change. After this is all done and gone, I'll be the same Jimmy I was prior to his weekend. And it's not you're fault I'm hurt right now. You said everything you needed to to save your own ass. I just ignored it because it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I set myself up for this all because I hoped things would work out in the long run. This is all me, and I'm sorry if you feel guilty for anything...you shouldn't. I know that your intentions weren't to hurt me, I think you might have just slightly underestimated my attachment. The main reason though that I feel like shit, is because I tried so hard with you, and I still didn't end up with the girl. I just feel like my best wasn't good enough. You dont need to explain anything to me about your relationship. It's none of my business how it happened or who it's with. The only thing I needed to know was that it happened...About the future, who knows...Right now i'm pretty much clueless about everything and really dont give a damn about much. But I know as long as you stay in Indiana, I wont mention anything about a relationship...I know it wont work. If you decide to move to Florida, I dont know how things will be. But I know as soon as I force these feelings out of my system, I'm gonna be scared to death to get them back. As for this compromising thing...I see no need. I have to deal with what I have to deal with, but no matter what I will still be there. It's gonna take a lot for you to get rid of me ;o) I will stay as close as you let me. And please, PLEASE I beg you more now than I begged you not to get your muffler, to not feel guilty about anything. Hope to talk to you soon...