Just a simple girl in a crazy world
"I'm just a girl in this world."
First off my dog Precious is in my lap licking the shit out of me:P. I heart her mucho. She's a French Teacup Poodle. Okay, scre wall the people who think Poodles are for fags. THEY'RE NOT!! ANd if you still insist, then I AM A BIG POODLE HEARTING FAGGOT. Fifth period me and Nancy and Nicole were just talking. It was really fun actually. Like Nancy and I have a lot more in common than I used to think. We share the same favorite color, likes and stuff like that. We had a lot of fun walking like asses after. Nicole told me that when I drew a picture on Alex Foley's hand, people asked him about it before the final two weeks ago, and when he said it was me people wer elike who's that? And then one girl told Mike Beltrani "the drug addict one". Okay. I'm sorry. But I missd the part where I became an addict to drugs. I screw around sometimes, but nothing at all serious. I haven't even done a total of three illegal drugs, no less am I addicted to any of them. Where do you get drug addict from the girl that walks with noone in the halls, is really quiet until she shocks you when she's around her friends going a tad crazy. Where do you get drug addict from the girl who raises her hand in class, and studies for quizzes, and actually -for the most part-pays attention in class. Yeah I fucked up last year. I took the lighter and sprayed perfume on it to make a combustion. That isn't arson. That isn't trying to light a building on fire. I honestly don't get why that will have to be on my record forever. I never tried lighting the building so it would incinerate.No. In my opinion, that was completely unfair. Okay, one OSS, and two days of ISS. WOow, that doesn't make me a druggy. I fucking run track.Yes, all druggies just love love love to run track. Unless I misinterpreted my Health teachers, a lot of the people who do pot don't want to do anything at all, let alone run for two hours. I rest my case. Back to my day. n Sanish I got caught giving answers to Sal. One zero on a mini-quiz. Definitely not doing that again. Let's see, that was the first time we got caught. LOL, he's nice to me, so what the hell. And this is going to sound like I really want to fit in, but trust me when I say "I don't give two shits and a turd", but I just don't want to be on the bad side of people anymore. I'm pretty much sick of it.
I was thinking again. I've been pretty pensive lately on society. WHy is it that there are like groups of people in school? And like when you walk alone through the hallways and see the same people in the same spots? I don't stand in a certain spot, I get jostled by everyone, and I don't really have a group of friends. If I sound like a whiney whore, sorry, but like sometimes you just think. I notice no matter how hard I try, I'll never be nothing to 99 percent of these people. It's even worse when you drop your books and they sit there and laugh. No one ever comes over to help, they just laugh. I always always pick up someones book if it drops, but I never get a thanks. I try hard to make friends so that my High School social life won't revolve around a total of like 9 people. IOn which 9 of them you secretly think annoying or leech-like, or just someone your kind to. Why is it that my only close friend is a senior in another school. Why is it that it's my cousin. I have nothing wrong with my cousin as my best friend. I love her. TO pieces. But why is it that I'm afraid to move to another school because I wouldn't fit in with anyone there because they are all packed with their "groups".
What's worse is being made fun of. I would never mind not having friends, but why do people make you sink lower by making fun of you. I read in ElleGirl that there's a school called Alliance, for kids who have been bullied or tormented. I haven't been bullied as bad as some, but I have been bullied and made fun of my whole life pretty much. At least since fifth grade. You can't really count name calling any grades below, but if you do, then I have. Let's break it down:
Fifth Grade: Iwas made fun of for not being Spanish because pretty much everyone in my Brentwood was Spanish. I'd be calle Whitey, and other stupid shit like that. I'll admit this because I know some girls have this to. I have a "chickstache". Okay. There. I have natural black hair, so pretty much every hair on my body is black. My "chockstache" wasn't like a man man mustache, but it was dark enough for me to be called Missy Maaaannnnfredo.
Sixth:I was the new kid in Hauppauge so theres pointer one. Not fitting in because you didn't know anyone. ANd my "chickstache".I wasn't made fun of by girls...try guys. SOme even that I didn't knw like in the mall.
I started to bleach it that summer.
Seventh: Varieties of whore, slut, prostitute to be.
Eighth:Goth whore, demon worshipper, and random things like that.
And you know my ninth.
I'm but a girl, that's just quiet for the most part of the school day. Few people see the real me. Fewer to none in my school. So where do these sterotypes come from? Anyone?
If this sounded liek a majorly whiney entry, I'm sorry, but this journal is also my real journal because I can't trust anyone with my old written one. ANd it's also nice to get feed back, and it's sort of cool giving people a window to my life and thoughts and things like that.
♥
First off my dog Precious is in my lap licking the shit out of me:P. I heart her mucho. She's a French Teacup Poodle. Okay, scre wall the people who think Poodles are for fags. THEY'RE NOT!! ANd if you still insist, then I AM A BIG POODLE HEARTING FAGGOT. Fifth period me and Nancy and Nicole were just talking. It was really fun actually. Like Nancy and I have a lot more in common than I used to think. We share the same favorite color, likes and stuff like that. We had a lot of fun walking like asses after. Nicole told me that when I drew a picture on Alex Foley's hand, people asked him about it before the final two weeks ago, and when he said it was me people wer elike who's that? And then one girl told Mike Beltrani "the drug addict one". Okay. I'm sorry. But I missd the part where I became an addict to drugs. I screw around sometimes, but nothing at all serious. I haven't even done a total of three illegal drugs, no less am I addicted to any of them. Where do you get drug addict from the girl that walks with noone in the halls, is really quiet until she shocks you when she's around her friends going a tad crazy. Where do you get drug addict from the girl who raises her hand in class, and studies for quizzes, and actually -for the most part-pays attention in class. Yeah I fucked up last year. I took the lighter and sprayed perfume on it to make a combustion. That isn't arson. That isn't trying to light a building on fire. I honestly don't get why that will have to be on my record forever. I never tried lighting the building so it would incinerate.No. In my opinion, that was completely unfair. Okay, one OSS, and two days of ISS. WOow, that doesn't make me a druggy. I fucking run track.Yes, all druggies just love love love to run track. Unless I misinterpreted my Health teachers, a lot of the people who do pot don't want to do anything at all, let alone run for two hours. I rest my case. Back to my day. n Sanish I got caught giving answers to Sal. One zero on a mini-quiz. Definitely not doing that again. Let's see, that was the first time we got caught. LOL, he's nice to me, so what the hell. And this is going to sound like I really want to fit in, but trust me when I say "I don't give two shits and a turd", but I just don't want to be on the bad side of people anymore. I'm pretty much sick of it.
I was thinking again. I've been pretty pensive lately on society. WHy is it that there are like groups of people in school? And like when you walk alone through the hallways and see the same people in the same spots? I don't stand in a certain spot, I get jostled by everyone, and I don't really have a group of friends. If I sound like a whiney whore, sorry, but like sometimes you just think. I notice no matter how hard I try, I'll never be nothing to 99 percent of these people. It's even worse when you drop your books and they sit there and laugh. No one ever comes over to help, they just laugh. I always always pick up someones book if it drops, but I never get a thanks. I try hard to make friends so that my High School social life won't revolve around a total of like 9 people. IOn which 9 of them you secretly think annoying or leech-like, or just someone your kind to. Why is it that my only close friend is a senior in another school. Why is it that it's my cousin. I have nothing wrong with my cousin as my best friend. I love her. TO pieces. But why is it that I'm afraid to move to another school because I wouldn't fit in with anyone there because they are all packed with their "groups".
What's worse is being made fun of. I would never mind not having friends, but why do people make you sink lower by making fun of you. I read in ElleGirl that there's a school called Alliance, for kids who have been bullied or tormented. I haven't been bullied as bad as some, but I have been bullied and made fun of my whole life pretty much. At least since fifth grade. You can't really count name calling any grades below, but if you do, then I have. Let's break it down:
Fifth Grade: Iwas made fun of for not being Spanish because pretty much everyone in my Brentwood was Spanish. I'd be calle Whitey, and other stupid shit like that. I'll admit this because I know some girls have this to. I have a "chickstache". Okay. There. I have natural black hair, so pretty much every hair on my body is black. My "chockstache" wasn't like a man man mustache, but it was dark enough for me to be called Missy Maaaannnnfredo.
Sixth:I was the new kid in Hauppauge so theres pointer one. Not fitting in because you didn't know anyone. ANd my "chickstache".I wasn't made fun of by girls...try guys. SOme even that I didn't knw like in the mall.
I started to bleach it that summer.
Seventh: Varieties of whore, slut, prostitute to be.
Eighth:Goth whore, demon worshipper, and random things like that.
And you know my ninth.
I'm but a girl, that's just quiet for the most part of the school day. Few people see the real me. Fewer to none in my school. So where do these sterotypes come from? Anyone?
If this sounded liek a majorly whiney entry, I'm sorry, but this journal is also my real journal because I can't trust anyone with my old written one. ANd it's also nice to get feed back, and it's sort of cool giving people a window to my life and thoughts and things like that.
♥