(no subject)
it's been a trying day for my conscience.
the reason for that post last night is because bobby imed me out of nowhere.
i know he saw me sign on in the statesman room once, but whatever.
i was talking to lindsay at the same time and didn't say anything and for some reason i felt like i was plotting. but god, i'm not. i just felt so horrible even talking to him while i was talking to her.. so awkward. then this occurs:
XSpyderX132794 (8:38:28 PM): when are the vines playing
XSpyderX132794 (8:38:36 PM): here of course
xx de stijl (8:38:45 PM): heh. um.. november 20th, if memory serves.
xx de stijl (8:38:52 PM): i looked it up as soon as i got home.. yayyy.
XSpyderX132794 (8:39:10 PM): and i suppose tix are on sale
xx de stijl (8:39:29 PM): yeah, they went on sale on saturday.
XSpyderX132794 (8:41:05 PM): did you get one yet?
xx de stijl (8:41:10 PM): nope, not yet.
XSpyderX132794 (8:41:49 PM): i am definitely hoping to get a ticket if you need somecompany
xx de stijl (8:42:16 PM): well, i was planning on dragging my friend jeff along with me, but perhaps we could meet you there?
XSpyderX132794 (8:42:32 PM): sure
oh god, i just want to be like "shut the fuck up and leave me alone" because this is tearing. me. apart. and i hate it. hate it hate it hate it. but i know that i have no romantic inclinations to him, i just have to convince lindsay of that. rather, i think consciously she is convinced, but unconsciously she still thinks that i'm totally going against her and trying to get this guy to go out with me, which is not the case at all.
AHH.
better.
the car broke down again today. fun times.
casey wants to come over my house and watch donnie darko and he wants me to see a clockwork orange. fun times.
no rehearsal today or tomorrow. goody. and there's a b-bell tomorrow for the pep rally for powder puff, then the next day there's another one for the big senior picture in the gym. yeah.
i was thinking about all my senior friends again today and god, i really cannot believe that this is happening. when i think about getting my senior pictures taken and not being able to give them it first person, in school.. god, it sucks.
not only that, but our guidance department manages to scare the shit out of you the minute you're officially enrolled at tj, because they think that you need to have you entire career picked out by the middle of your sophomore year. they came in today with a "schedule" of what we should be doing each month of our junior year. it just made me want to shoot myself in the head. especially considering that i really, really need to do well in school to get scholarships because at this rate my mother will be contributing near to nothing to my college education.
and i seriously will kill myself if i have to school in pittsburgh.
in fact, i wouldn't do it.
i'd take a year off and work until i have some money of my own to put toward college.
there's no way in HELL that i am going to school here.
the reason for that post last night is because bobby imed me out of nowhere.
i know he saw me sign on in the statesman room once, but whatever.
i was talking to lindsay at the same time and didn't say anything and for some reason i felt like i was plotting. but god, i'm not. i just felt so horrible even talking to him while i was talking to her.. so awkward. then this occurs:
XSpyderX132794 (8:38:28 PM): when are the vines playing
XSpyderX132794 (8:38:36 PM): here of course
xx de stijl (8:38:45 PM): heh. um.. november 20th, if memory serves.
xx de stijl (8:38:52 PM): i looked it up as soon as i got home.. yayyy.
XSpyderX132794 (8:39:10 PM): and i suppose tix are on sale
xx de stijl (8:39:29 PM): yeah, they went on sale on saturday.
XSpyderX132794 (8:41:05 PM): did you get one yet?
xx de stijl (8:41:10 PM): nope, not yet.
XSpyderX132794 (8:41:49 PM): i am definitely hoping to get a ticket if you need somecompany
xx de stijl (8:42:16 PM): well, i was planning on dragging my friend jeff along with me, but perhaps we could meet you there?
XSpyderX132794 (8:42:32 PM): sure
oh god, i just want to be like "shut the fuck up and leave me alone" because this is tearing. me. apart. and i hate it. hate it hate it hate it. but i know that i have no romantic inclinations to him, i just have to convince lindsay of that. rather, i think consciously she is convinced, but unconsciously she still thinks that i'm totally going against her and trying to get this guy to go out with me, which is not the case at all.
AHH.
better.
the car broke down again today. fun times.
casey wants to come over my house and watch donnie darko and he wants me to see a clockwork orange. fun times.
no rehearsal today or tomorrow. goody. and there's a b-bell tomorrow for the pep rally for powder puff, then the next day there's another one for the big senior picture in the gym. yeah.
i was thinking about all my senior friends again today and god, i really cannot believe that this is happening. when i think about getting my senior pictures taken and not being able to give them it first person, in school.. god, it sucks.
not only that, but our guidance department manages to scare the shit out of you the minute you're officially enrolled at tj, because they think that you need to have you entire career picked out by the middle of your sophomore year. they came in today with a "schedule" of what we should be doing each month of our junior year. it just made me want to shoot myself in the head. especially considering that i really, really need to do well in school to get scholarships because at this rate my mother will be contributing near to nothing to my college education.
and i seriously will kill myself if i have to school in pittsburgh.
in fact, i wouldn't do it.
i'd take a year off and work until i have some money of my own to put toward college.
there's no way in HELL that i am going to school here.