80
"We once walked out on the beach
And once I almost touched your hand
Oh how I dreamed to finally say such things
Then only to pretend
Don’t you know what I’m thinkin’
Drivin' four or five past midnight
You know I miss you
Don’t you know that I miss you
Ninth and Ash on a Tuesday night
I would write to you from museum mile
A toast to you, your whisper, your smile
Up the stairs at Weatherford
A ghost each place I hide
If you don’t don't know,why would you say so?
Would you mean this please if it happens?
If you don’t know, why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight
If you don’t know, honey, would you just say so?
Cause I need this now
More than I ever did
If you don’t well, honey, then you don’t
I left you waiting,
At the least could we be friends?
Should have never started
Ain’t that the way it always ends?
On my life I'll try today
There’s so much I've felt I should say, but
Even if your heart would listen
I Doubt I could explain
If you don't don't know, why'd you say so?
Would you mean this, please if it happens?
If you don’t know, Why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight
If you don’t know, honey, would you just say so?
Cause I need this now more than I ever did
If you don’t well, honey
Then you don’t
So here we are now
A sip of wine a sip of water
Someday maybe, maybe
Someday we’ll be smarter
And I’m sorry that I’m such a mess
I drank all my money could get,
And took everything you let me have.
And then I never loved you back
If you don’t don't know,
Why would you say so?
Would you mean the please if it happens?
If you don’t know, why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight?
If you don’t know, honey, would you just say so?
Cause I need this now.
Yeah, need this.
If you don’t well, honey, then you don’t.
And if you don’t well, honey then you don’t.
If you don’t know, honey,
Honey, then you don’t.”
I wish I could just explain to my friends why I can’t be around. I wish I could explain in a way they would understand. I know people want to help. But I can’t even get out of bed. I haven’t ate in 5 days, and I still to this day wish that my car accident had just ended my life for me, because everything has gotten worse since then. And I have tried to do good with my life, and I know 84369564396 have it worse then me, I don’t want pity, and I know that no one I know can understand why I have such a co-dependent relationship with guys. It’s wrong, I recognize that. I know if I keep this up I am going to end up one of those women that they found beaten to death from their boyfriend or husband that I stayed with because I’d rather not be alone.
I know my friends don’t get it and they only want to help and support me…but I feel like I would be bringing everyone down, or just be a burden in general. And it’s also strange that I found that when people show me comfort in psychical ways, like hugs, I can’t handle it. Even hearing a friend tell me that they love me, hurts for some reason.
I just don’t know anymore. But I thank you to all that actually care. I’ll come around eventually.
And once I almost touched your hand
Oh how I dreamed to finally say such things
Then only to pretend
Don’t you know what I’m thinkin’
Drivin' four or five past midnight
You know I miss you
Don’t you know that I miss you
Ninth and Ash on a Tuesday night
I would write to you from museum mile
A toast to you, your whisper, your smile
Up the stairs at Weatherford
A ghost each place I hide
If you don’t don't know,why would you say so?
Would you mean this please if it happens?
If you don’t know, why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight
If you don’t know, honey, would you just say so?
Cause I need this now
More than I ever did
If you don’t well, honey, then you don’t
I left you waiting,
At the least could we be friends?
Should have never started
Ain’t that the way it always ends?
On my life I'll try today
There’s so much I've felt I should say, but
Even if your heart would listen
I Doubt I could explain
If you don't don't know, why'd you say so?
Would you mean this, please if it happens?
If you don’t know, Why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight
If you don’t know, honey, would you just say so?
Cause I need this now more than I ever did
If you don’t well, honey
Then you don’t
So here we are now
A sip of wine a sip of water
Someday maybe, maybe
Someday we’ll be smarter
And I’m sorry that I’m such a mess
I drank all my money could get,
And took everything you let me have.
And then I never loved you back
If you don’t don't know,
Why would you say so?
Would you mean the please if it happens?
If you don’t know, why would you say so?
Won’t you get your story straight?
If you don’t know, honey, would you just say so?
Cause I need this now.
Yeah, need this.
If you don’t well, honey, then you don’t.
And if you don’t well, honey then you don’t.
If you don’t know, honey,
Honey, then you don’t.”
I wish I could just explain to my friends why I can’t be around. I wish I could explain in a way they would understand. I know people want to help. But I can’t even get out of bed. I haven’t ate in 5 days, and I still to this day wish that my car accident had just ended my life for me, because everything has gotten worse since then. And I have tried to do good with my life, and I know 84369564396 have it worse then me, I don’t want pity, and I know that no one I know can understand why I have such a co-dependent relationship with guys. It’s wrong, I recognize that. I know if I keep this up I am going to end up one of those women that they found beaten to death from their boyfriend or husband that I stayed with because I’d rather not be alone.
I know my friends don’t get it and they only want to help and support me…but I feel like I would be bringing everyone down, or just be a burden in general. And it’s also strange that I found that when people show me comfort in psychical ways, like hugs, I can’t handle it. Even hearing a friend tell me that they love me, hurts for some reason.
I just don’t know anymore. But I thank you to all that actually care. I’ll come around eventually.