Here's to looking beyond...
Seems like I'm finally getting some of my shit together and I'm not gonna lie, it feels friggin good. When you get to this point you always look back and go, "why the fuck did it take me soo long to get here??" But I'm not gonna overthink it, I'm gonna let it flow. I'm finally doing things that I want, when I want. If I feel like coming home after work and sitting in my backyard on the swing chair with a beer and a book, then I do it. If I feel like hitting the gym, I don't give myself the opportunity to get lazy. I think I just wasn't feeling very empowered before. I was in control of my life but I didn't feel like I was so I wasn't taking charge of it. I had forgotten what I like to do. Half the problem was that I didn't really have any friends consistently around me who were as random and spontaneous and willing to try new things (even if it ended up sucking) as I am. And since my circle is shifting boundaries, I've found a few who can bring that side of me, the side left stagnant for so long, back out (as rusty as it is). I'm shaking off the cobwebs now and focusing on ME. The 'same old same old' rut is sooo easy to fall into, and the funny part is it has never really been a 'same old' that I've chosen. I haven't yet climbed out completely but I'm certainly on the way there. Twentysomething really is the period in which you discover who you are, no matter which route you take to get the ball rolling for real.
In other news, I've been reading the His Dark Materials series. Man I think my childhood would have been very different had I encountered these books back then. They are AMAZING! They are written for intelligent, free-spirited kids whose eyes are open to the world around them and taking everything in, not silly status quo girls who are expected to be obsessed with boys and fantasizing about what their bridesmaids will wear. I don't know where Phillip Pullman is taking the story next and I can't wait to find out. It's actually an incredibly complex and smart storyline that uses a lot of advanced concepts about politics and the nature of science vs. religion vs. human nature, it's really cool. Again, on a whim I decided to borrow them from the library (as kinda embarrassing it was to be searching in the kids section). I embarked on a mission to read all the books I never read - but should have - when I was younger. I started with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, did the first few Harry Potters (and I would still be reading them had there not been a GIGANTIC waiting list for the 4th-7th books at the library), and I'm now onto Book 2 The Subtle Knife. I want to invest in buying all 3 of these series,' it's honestly so worth it. Then I'm gonna switch back to non-fiction and finish Shock Doctrine. My next mission will be to read all the semiotics-related books that Prof. Danesi mentioned in his classes, especially Naomi Klein, and open my mind. After that will be the Ancient Jewish Mysticism books by Aryeh Kaplan that peaked my interest in Tzfat last summer. I need to keep my mind active. Already in the short year that I've been out of school I noticed my vocabulary diminishing. I came to the realization that I sound like an idiot in conversation recently. But since I started reading again I'm articulate again.
But now it's time for bed
In other news, I've been reading the His Dark Materials series. Man I think my childhood would have been very different had I encountered these books back then. They are AMAZING! They are written for intelligent, free-spirited kids whose eyes are open to the world around them and taking everything in, not silly status quo girls who are expected to be obsessed with boys and fantasizing about what their bridesmaids will wear. I don't know where Phillip Pullman is taking the story next and I can't wait to find out. It's actually an incredibly complex and smart storyline that uses a lot of advanced concepts about politics and the nature of science vs. religion vs. human nature, it's really cool. Again, on a whim I decided to borrow them from the library (as kinda embarrassing it was to be searching in the kids section). I embarked on a mission to read all the books I never read - but should have - when I was younger. I started with the Lord of the Rings trilogy, did the first few Harry Potters (and I would still be reading them had there not been a GIGANTIC waiting list for the 4th-7th books at the library), and I'm now onto Book 2 The Subtle Knife. I want to invest in buying all 3 of these series,' it's honestly so worth it. Then I'm gonna switch back to non-fiction and finish Shock Doctrine. My next mission will be to read all the semiotics-related books that Prof. Danesi mentioned in his classes, especially Naomi Klein, and open my mind. After that will be the Ancient Jewish Mysticism books by Aryeh Kaplan that peaked my interest in Tzfat last summer. I need to keep my mind active. Already in the short year that I've been out of school I noticed my vocabulary diminishing. I came to the realization that I sound like an idiot in conversation recently. But since I started reading again I'm articulate again.
But now it's time for bed