Time (for Kennedy)

[_wishingwillow_]

It was that time. The time where the silence is they heavy and pushed together sort. Compressed. Waiting for the bell to ring. Willow would swear it had its own taste. Something close to the first cotton candy at the fair, but not quite. The last funnel cake of the evening was too heavy, too rich. That was reserved for the last-day-of-school-taste

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[_wishingwillow_]

"I do know, you know," I admitted softly, my voice almost swallowed up by the sounds of the falls, not so far behind us. "Not -- not about you, and the, I mean."

I sighed, and tried again.

"I know what I am doing," I tried again, pronouncing each world, if not softly, then at least well. They had been clear enough in my head, for a long while. "I know that I am so determined to find these girls, to explain, to give them back what I feel like I have taken away. There are so much -- than before? And I still feel like I stole something from them. " Because of Buffy. "And me, so focused to give them their life back." I glanced down at our hands, at the connection there. "At the cost of my own."

I never wanted Kennedy to think I wasn't fully aware of everything I had given up over the past year, of the sacrafice. But in the face of her determination, I couldn't help but wonder.

Was it the needed, I was facing down? Or just self-inflicted punishment. I truly didn't know.

The one thing I was certain of, looking at her features, was that I wasnted to try.

"I think --" It didn't mean that it made it any easier to start. The feel of her fingers underneath mine was the only thing seemingly making it possible. "I could spend the school year in Boston?"

[skatepunkbrat]

I listened quietly as she spoke, my eyes never leaving her as she spoke, explaining her side of everything. Things I knew I should understand, but sometimes too selfishly I just didn't. Mostly because I wanted my girlfriend all to myself. I always did have issues with sharing and though I'd gotten used to and even accepted this whole thing, sometimes I just got sick of it. I was a brat about it and wanted her to be with me, not out finding other slayers. And apparently now was one of those times.

"You shouldn't punish yourself. WIllow, you didn't take anything away from these girls. From me. You gave us something. Something that until now someone had to die for. Something that one girl had to bear alone. Now though? There's so many of us. It's not all on Buffy anymore." I smiled, nodding. "Does that make sense?"

Her suggestion for staying in Boston for the school year was the best idea ever. I could totally deal with that. My smile grew bigger than I'd probably smiled in awhile. "You here for nine months out of the year? Definitely liking that plan." I winked at her playfully, giving her hand a squeeze. "See, and who says a compromise can't be reached?"

[_wishingwillow_]

I latched onto her hand like a lifeline, threads of white pressure on my own fingers. I knew she could handle it. I had made it so she could. What mattered more was that I knew she wanted to handle it, that as much as Kennedy knew of me. She still wanted to be there.

"I know that," I admitted. "I hear everything you are saying. Because," there was a flash of a smile. "You are saying it very well. But most days I just -- I can't seem to feel that way. I don't know why."

I also did not know why I held my breath for the next part.

"Would you be willing to travel with me in the summers?"

[skatepunkbrat]

The last part fell out of her mouth and she looked almost scared after she'd asked it. But, me? I could barely contain the excitement, the happiness I felt that she did. It was like everything I'd been penting up, fuming inside about was all getting resolved on this trip. It was definitely a good idea.

My lips settled into a comfortable smile, my eyes never leaving hers. "I thought you'd never ask." I nodded. "'Cause honestly? I didn't want to ask and have you think I didn't think you could handle yourself or anything. But I'd totally feel a hell of a lot better if I was with you. You know, big bad Slayer bodyguard and all."

I laughed.

"Yes. Yes, I'll travel with you in the summer." I nodded again, leaning over our food and giving her a soft kiss. "I think we oughta compromise more often." I winked with a grin.

[_wishingwillow_]

Something in me finally eased, relaxing in her gaze, and fading from me. Not into her. Just -- gone.

I imagined it flying out the open window. Even more, I imagined it never coming back. As unrealistic as that was. There was an actual laugh at her bodyguard comment.

"Is that the plan for the entire time then," I teased, features warming. As always, when Kennedy was in front of me, I was unable to keep from looking at her.

[skatepunkbrat]

I could almost feel the anxiousness leave her. Like she'd been holding a breath and now that she'd asked me, she could finally let it out. Like I would've said no to her. She should know better than that by now.

"Well, not the entire time. There's lots of other things I have in mind." I smirked, returning the intent gaze she was giving me. Our food long forgotten by this time, just enjoying each other's company.

Leaning forward, I captured her lips in a kiss, a deep, passionate one. Pulling back, I grinned again. "That for starters." I reached out, taking her hands and pulling her to her feet. "Kinda like an appetizer to the main course." I laughed, wrapping my arms around her tightly and ducking in for another kiss. "Need more examples?" I winked, the mood definitely lighter between us. "I'd be totally happy to show you."

[_wishingwillow_]

I got caught up inside her kiss, her mouth, hands sliding to Kennedy's waist, one getting lost just under the hem of her shirt. Possibly never to be seen again.

How many times was it possible for her to save me with a kiss?

"Other things?" My voice, was quite possibly, in that higher-place. I held her even tighter. "Really?"

"You know how I feel about my education."

[skatepunkbrat]

"Come on now, would I lie?" I tilted my head, giving her my best innocent look. One I knew she could always see through, because usually when it came to her and us talking about things of this nature? I was far from innocent. And my thoughts? Yeah, definitely not innocent either.

"Oh I know exactly how you feel about your education." I smirked mischievously. Another look she knew all to well. "And I never get tired of helping out with that."

I kissed her again, pulling away to look at her again. My eyes moved past her to notice the rain had stopped. Which gave me an idea. "I'm thinking we have a couple of options here." I whispered, barely able to contain the wicked grin that played at my lips and the seductive glint in my eyes. "We could stay here and continue to further your education, or...." I lifted my brows suggestively. "We could take a class field trip and maybe a blanket. Enjoy some stargazing by the falls. Astronomy, anatomy." My grin grew even more at the blush that colored her cheeks. "We could cover all the bases here. I mean, hey, it's stopped raining, so obviously Mother Nature wants us to take advantage of this. Who are we to argue?" I winked playfully, my eyes glancing down to where her hand had slid under the edge of my shirt before lifting back up to hers.

[_wishingwillow_]

She smirked at me.

That's all she really had to do -- smirk at me, and I stilled, paused, stopped everything really, to think? When did she get so beautiful?

And that was just a smirk.

"Astronomy," I echoed, color still high. I was older than her. I was not supposed to be the one blushing. "Anatomy." I finally smiled at her, with a teasing need to clarify. "All the bases, or all our bases?"

My hand tightened on her hip, extremely aware of how Kennedy was watching me.

"Who am I to argue with that's natural?"