Time (for Kennedy)
It was that time. The time where the silence is they heavy and pushed together sort. Compressed. Waiting for the bell to ring. Willow would swear it had its own taste. Something close to the first cotton candy at the fair, but not quite. The last funnel cake of the evening was too heavy, too rich. That was reserved for the last-day-of-school-taste
( Read more... )
Just a bed that was a good bit colder, for all that it was worry free. It was enough for me to wake up, and after carefully making the bed, and returning all the pillows to thier home, I stepped out onto the balcony.
This was right, us being here. The consuming need for me to right anything that could be viewed as a wrong, a result of my spell, had taken me away from friends, and family, in ways I had never intended, or imagined. And then -- there was Kennedy. I had started my travels with us at our closest. Not -- the closest we would ever be -- just our closest. We'd been traveling up, not down, or coasting, or getting by. There was something unfufilled in our time together. We still didn't know everything we might be. I knew, without doubt, that it bothered Kennedy. What I didn't know was if she was aware of how it frustrated me too.
The rain kept myself, and my thoughts, steady company until Kennedy's voice joined us. I turned, effectively shifting my horizon for a view that was just as lovely. Even if there was a basket blocking parts of her, here and there.
"Maybe," I defended Mother Nature. "She wanted to keep us in as close of quarters as possible, to ensure our only distractions were each other."
Reply
My own lips twitched into a grin as she tried to explain or maybe even defend Mother Nature's reasons for the rain. Giving a slight shrug, I nodded. "Okay, with reasons like that? I can't exactly argue now can I?"
Carrying the basket out onto the balcony, I set it down on the small table between the two chairs. I moved over to her, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tight. My eyes fell shut and I just enjoyed the brief moment of feeling her in my arms. Those moments? Definitely few and far between. But now, here? It was just us. Cellphones off, no one knowing where we were exactly. Sure, I told Dawn we were going to Brazil and told her if there was a life or death emergency she could call my cellphone and I would check up on messages. But I'm gonna trust that she can handle things and not burn my apartment to the ground. 'Cause like Willow said, maybe Mother Nature really didn't want us to have any other distractions but each other.
And I definitely wasn't gonna argue with that.
Pulling out of her arms, I pressed my lips to hers gently, tilting my head to the side. "I think I like Mother Nature's plan better than mine. Plus, hey, we can do the whole picnic thing here in the room or even out on the balcony." I smiled. "I'm flexible."
Reply
My smile grew right out of her too-quick kiss, as I brushed some of her hair back. Even set back the way our hotel was, a steady breeze always kicked up from the force of the falls, rainstorm or no.
Drops of rain skittered their was across both our features.
"That may be our hint to go inside?"
Reply
Setting it back down on the table by the window as we entered, I headed straight for the bathroom, grabbing a towel from the rack. I wiped the droplets that had managed to splash across my face before running it over my still damp hair. Handing it to her, I plopped down on the bed, bending down to pull off my boots. FIrst mission? Getting out of these wet clothes.
Discarding my boots, I stood up, tugging my clinging shirt over my head and tossing it into the corner. It was soon joined by the jeans I'd tugged off soon after. I'm not exactly the best housekeeper. The corner seemed like a good place for them at the time.
"So, looks like we're stuck inside for the time being." I commented, kneeling down at the suitcase in the floor that we'd not even bothered to unpack yet. Unzipping it, I started rummaging through for some clean, dry clothes. "I don't think that rain's letting up anytime soon." Standing up, I tugged the red shirt over my head and stepped into the jeans, tugging the fresh ones back up over my hips and securing them with a button. "I had everything ready for the picnic. So...." I trailed off, crossing the room towards her. "We could just have a quiet, picnic for two right here." I grinned, wrapping my arms around her waist again. "Avoid all those pesky distractions Mother Nature seems so determined to keep us from." I leaned in again, stealing another kiss. "I think it might even be more romantic than having it at the falls." I shrugged. "We can always go to the falls tomorrow."
Reply
I looked over to the close in the corner, then back up to Kennedy with a laugh. The absurd idea occurred to be that she was marking her territory. Our territory.
"We can always go to the falls tonight." Once suggested, the idea of a moonlit walk in that direction had all sorts of appeal. I grinned. "There is no restriction on our time here."
Reply
Pulling the stuff out, I inhaled the scent of the thankfully still warm food. Nothing like traditional Brazilian food. Taking out a container, I set it down between us.
"Caldo." I nodded, taking out another larger container. "Feijoada." I reached back into the basket and pulled out 2 cans. "And what Brazilian dining could be complete without this? Caipirinha." I smiled, remembering how much she liked it's sugary goodness. "For before the Feijoada."
Reaching back into the basket yet again, I pulled out the plates and silverware and set them out for us. Then, last but not least, the bottle of wine. Just like the kind we'd had last time we were here.
Reply
I wondered how delayed dinner would be if I followed my instinct to nibble at the corner of Kennedy's mouth, and taste the end of a few of those words.
Still, I managed to keep a perfectly straight face until the wine appeared. The wave a familiarity it brought lightened my entire body.
"It all looks wonderful."
This? Was all so very true.
Reply
"What? My lips or the food?" I teased, giving her a playful wink. I couldn't resist letting her know I was totally onto her.
Fixing her food first, I handed it to her and prepared my own. Pulling two wine glasses out of the basket, I opened the wine and poured it into the glasses. Handing her one, I held mine out towards her.
"Here's to finally having some time alone."
Reply
Of course, that had no effect on my enflamed cheeks.
"Both," I finally admitted outloud. Even though she already knew the answer.
I accepted the food, and the wineglass with a thankfully smile, before meeting Kennedy's toast.
"And here's to making sure we don't wait so long to take some ever again."
Reply
I hated it. Apparently more than even I realized as I took a bite of my food, chewing as I thought more and more about it. There had to be something we could do. All this time away from each other couldn't be good on a relationship. Maybe I was a brat, but I wanted her with me more than this whole thing was allowing.
Swallowing my food, I took a deep breath, looking back up at her seriously as I set my plate down. "Will, look..." I started, knowing I had to get this out and now. "I hate this. Not this, with the being here and the with you of it all. But I mean, the fact that we never see each other." I frowned, shaking my head. "I miss you." I admitted, my eyes locked on hers. "So much sometimes that I can't stand it. There has to be some way. Some kind of compromise we can make that gives us more. Please don't get me wrong, I get this whole greater good thing. And maybe I'm being a brat, or even selfish, but I want and I need more."
I lowered my eyes for a minute before lifting them again.
"Does that make sense?" I asked, hoping all my jumbled thoughts were somehow coming out right. "Do you get what I'm saying? The fact is, I love you Willow. And I feel like all this distance is eventually gonna wear on both of us."
Reply
I understood that too. The part of me that was afraid of this discussion, because I worried about what would get said. And worse, what was on the other side of it.
This was a place that no one could be with me in. Possibly the most alone I had been since that day Buffy made Xander and I different. Made everything different. If only by taking a lonliness away that none of us knew we were suffering from. Tara was the only thing that even came close. But even as much as I had wanted to be alone then, I knew that they were all there with me. That we mourned together.
But I performed that spell. I made all those girls Slayers. And I did not think that the commitment to find them, and teach them just what that meant, would ever fade.
I couldn't make it end, even if I wanted to. And I didn't want to. But I didn't know if Kennedy should have the responsibility of being there with me either.
Slowly I put glass, and dinner down, and held out one hand to her own.
"I miss you too," I offered honestly. "I miss you so much that it hurts. And the distance, I know that it's -- wrong for us. But I don't know how to make it right either."
I had ideas. But not the certainty that it was a fair thing to ask of her, either. I tried to think how to say the rest.
Reply
Leave a comment