(no subject)
pretty much the only reason im putting this in my lj is because i have no friends to tell. because baiscally i have no friends. no one who really cares ne way. but thats not the moral of the story. actaully there is no moral. but there is a story.
my vbal team every year has fallen apart. this year was no exception with two people quitting and one having to leave becasue of injury. that left us with 7. since only 6 of us could make it to houston and indy...my coach decides to bring along some players from 172...the team BELOW me. which is perfectly fine.
Ok so up to this point in the season me and roybn have baiscally been screwwed b/c we r ds/liberos meaning we play only back row. not front row. and my coach seems to only like hitters meaning me and raybn barely play unless one of the hitters is has screwed up like 23094782390482394 billion times in the backrow. its very gay but me and her get through it.
before i continue let me just say that John, my coach, isn't exactly all sugar and sweets. the biggest compliment he has ever given ne one is. "you didn't completley fuck it up today" and is form of motivation is teling us we suck. his favorite forms of timeouts r the ones that he calls and just stares at us intently without saying a word while clicking his pen. his favorite past time is making ur hate him b/c he says "we must fear him to paly for him" which we do fear him. but more than fear him we hate him. but we continue to go because we love to paly vball.
ok now that u understand how GAY my coach is....here is the rest of the story....so we have 6 people from a NATIONAL team at the tourny....and 4 people from a NOT national team. john already agreed to play ONLY the 6 original girls until we NEEDED the others. NOT TRUE. last match of the tourny he sits....yup u guessed it....ME AND ROYBN. now a lot more has been built up to this point but its too hard and too emotional to explain. So here are me and roybn sittin on the bench watchin are teams ass get kciked b/c John is gay whore who should learn to coach. So he throws me and roybn in during the 3rd game and we are COLD...literally. it was freezing. so i miss my serve. she shanks a pass. we get pulled. WTF everyone else has made 3290483 million mistakes....and we get pulled. thats a bunch of BS.
ok so a lot more besides that happend......but that was the spark that light all the gasoline our coach had built up to create the fire. MY PARENTS WERE ENRAGED. my dad yelled screamed and cussed at my coach and my coach did the same back. he told things to john that every player and parents had wanted to say but didn't casue we were scared. but my dad also took me off the team without my permission. thats a big deal. i am not a quitter. i am not. quitting club volleyball changes a lot in my life that i don't want to change. i was so mad sad and upset all i could was cry. ALl my team mates came up to me and hugged me and said they still loved me but i was so embarrased. i talked to MARK the head club coach...and he was fine with my decison and wouldn't hold it against me for next year. He hated John tooo and wanted to fire him. he understood...everyone understtood....EXCEPT JOHN.
ok well it gets more interesting bc my rents felt so bad that they talked to mark this morning and UNQUIT ME. well that wouuld be all fine and dandy except now my coach HATES ME. if he HATED me b4 its nothing compared to now. I mean him and my parents went at it yesterday. i think the whole convention center heard them. tons of f bombs the whole thing. horrible is an understatment.
But u have to realize.....i didn't do ne of this. i said NOTHING to my coach. i didn't yell or cuse or say i wanted to quit or do anything to him at all.
so i call him today to APOLOGIZE for my parents and for nething "i did" and make sure it was ok that i was back on the team.....
he couldn't even tell me THANK YOU for apologizing...he was the biggest damn ass hole i had ever met. he knows he scares me and he knows it took a lot for me to call him and say that....and all he had to say to me was "i guess thats fine..i will talk to you about it at practice...bye"
and not even in a happy tone.
talk to me at practice? WHAT ....i think he might kill me. like i really do. i might not come home alone wwednesday night. i have never been so scared. this has changed me. a lot. i am not the same person. i am scared and hurt. i mean i didn't do ne thing and i called to apologize....he could of at least attempted to work things out with me....I DIDNT YELL AT HIM SUNDAY...I AM NOT THE ASSHOLE.
damn it i hate my god damn life.
he didn't even sound like he wanted me back on the team.
but damn it im the best god damn backrow player he has.....he fuckin needs me.
wether he wants to admit it or not. he needs me.
so there is my story. there is a lot more too it that just can't be put into words.
100000000 dollars says i won't play a second in our tournament in indianapolis this weekend......if i even make it out alive after our "talk" on wednesday.
please please plase pray for me.
yall don't undersatnd how much this guy scares me.
no joke.
i can't stop crying or shaking thats how scared i am.
i know my parents were just standing up for there daughter...but goodness WHY DID THEY HAVE TO YELL.
i sware parents cause more trouble than kids.
i hate me life.
my vbal team every year has fallen apart. this year was no exception with two people quitting and one having to leave becasue of injury. that left us with 7. since only 6 of us could make it to houston and indy...my coach decides to bring along some players from 172...the team BELOW me. which is perfectly fine.
Ok so up to this point in the season me and roybn have baiscally been screwwed b/c we r ds/liberos meaning we play only back row. not front row. and my coach seems to only like hitters meaning me and raybn barely play unless one of the hitters is has screwed up like 23094782390482394 billion times in the backrow. its very gay but me and her get through it.
before i continue let me just say that John, my coach, isn't exactly all sugar and sweets. the biggest compliment he has ever given ne one is. "you didn't completley fuck it up today" and is form of motivation is teling us we suck. his favorite forms of timeouts r the ones that he calls and just stares at us intently without saying a word while clicking his pen. his favorite past time is making ur hate him b/c he says "we must fear him to paly for him" which we do fear him. but more than fear him we hate him. but we continue to go because we love to paly vball.
ok now that u understand how GAY my coach is....here is the rest of the story....so we have 6 people from a NATIONAL team at the tourny....and 4 people from a NOT national team. john already agreed to play ONLY the 6 original girls until we NEEDED the others. NOT TRUE. last match of the tourny he sits....yup u guessed it....ME AND ROYBN. now a lot more has been built up to this point but its too hard and too emotional to explain. So here are me and roybn sittin on the bench watchin are teams ass get kciked b/c John is gay whore who should learn to coach. So he throws me and roybn in during the 3rd game and we are COLD...literally. it was freezing. so i miss my serve. she shanks a pass. we get pulled. WTF everyone else has made 3290483 million mistakes....and we get pulled. thats a bunch of BS.
ok so a lot more besides that happend......but that was the spark that light all the gasoline our coach had built up to create the fire. MY PARENTS WERE ENRAGED. my dad yelled screamed and cussed at my coach and my coach did the same back. he told things to john that every player and parents had wanted to say but didn't casue we were scared. but my dad also took me off the team without my permission. thats a big deal. i am not a quitter. i am not. quitting club volleyball changes a lot in my life that i don't want to change. i was so mad sad and upset all i could was cry. ALl my team mates came up to me and hugged me and said they still loved me but i was so embarrased. i talked to MARK the head club coach...and he was fine with my decison and wouldn't hold it against me for next year. He hated John tooo and wanted to fire him. he understood...everyone understtood....EXCEPT JOHN.
ok well it gets more interesting bc my rents felt so bad that they talked to mark this morning and UNQUIT ME. well that wouuld be all fine and dandy except now my coach HATES ME. if he HATED me b4 its nothing compared to now. I mean him and my parents went at it yesterday. i think the whole convention center heard them. tons of f bombs the whole thing. horrible is an understatment.
But u have to realize.....i didn't do ne of this. i said NOTHING to my coach. i didn't yell or cuse or say i wanted to quit or do anything to him at all.
so i call him today to APOLOGIZE for my parents and for nething "i did" and make sure it was ok that i was back on the team.....
he couldn't even tell me THANK YOU for apologizing...he was the biggest damn ass hole i had ever met. he knows he scares me and he knows it took a lot for me to call him and say that....and all he had to say to me was "i guess thats fine..i will talk to you about it at practice...bye"
and not even in a happy tone.
talk to me at practice? WHAT ....i think he might kill me. like i really do. i might not come home alone wwednesday night. i have never been so scared. this has changed me. a lot. i am not the same person. i am scared and hurt. i mean i didn't do ne thing and i called to apologize....he could of at least attempted to work things out with me....I DIDNT YELL AT HIM SUNDAY...I AM NOT THE ASSHOLE.
damn it i hate my god damn life.
he didn't even sound like he wanted me back on the team.
but damn it im the best god damn backrow player he has.....he fuckin needs me.
wether he wants to admit it or not. he needs me.
so there is my story. there is a lot more too it that just can't be put into words.
100000000 dollars says i won't play a second in our tournament in indianapolis this weekend......if i even make it out alive after our "talk" on wednesday.
please please plase pray for me.
yall don't undersatnd how much this guy scares me.
no joke.
i can't stop crying or shaking thats how scared i am.
i know my parents were just standing up for there daughter...but goodness WHY DID THEY HAVE TO YELL.
i sware parents cause more trouble than kids.
i hate me life.