Jan 07, 2008 16:40
my eyes are burning from the dry air in this room, but i am almost warm. i pray for jen and hope something really good happens to her soon. we are about to go study our ACE certification books. gigi has seemed sad for days, though yesterday i was the sad soul, for reasons unknown, leaving me to fear my body as these days i am not always in control of it's chemicals. i cried so hard and he held me so tight and helped me breathe and soothed me and then left me alone to write him love letters. i need a cocoa. much like yesterday, much like any other day i am sad. i feel like gigi is lost in his mind again, and i'd love to hold him down and love him, and yet i feel like i shouldn't. that usually means he is waiting for me to do that, so perhaps i should. sex in the library has been on my goal list for some time now. classes start tomorrow and i am ready to be back at the barre. waking up at the gym today was a fresh start and i'd really prefer if we fell into that as a habit. i've been hired part time for a floral and interior design shop, which makes me happy. i miss dancing with gigi and i hope we go soon. off to get a cocoa/hopefully love my lover/read another chapter towards my personal trainer certification.