(no subject)
I should be shocked but I'm not. You've killed the dream. You've broken every piece of optimism in the subject of love and at the moment you did, I had nothing to say. You in the other room telling her "I just want you to know you can come visit any time you want" and me walking out the door. They had to convince me to stay this week. convince me to fight for you. Convince me I could conquer anything with love when in fact I could feel, literally feel this whole situation coming back up again, like bile in my throat. I'd started running 10 miles a day you know. 10. I was running towards you and away from her. Suddenly I felt cramped for time. You cannot make someone love you. I guess we've all learned that. Did I or did I not say "Don't walk in and out of my life."? I think I was clear enough. I think I said "Don't say I love you if you don't mean it." I think I've made yet another repetitive mistake I didn't think I'd care to make again. I thought it was done. I really thought it was done.