(no subject)
I am so pissed.
Ok, so one of my friends has gone a bit too far in the wonderful world of drugs. I've done pot, 'shrooms are alright, but cocaine, crack, acid, heroin, ecstasy: FUCK NO! She is doing so well in life right now. She's working through school and is with the guy she loves and wants to marry... and then this opportunity to try a hard drug comes along and even though its only been once, I'm so afraid it will turn into "this was only the second time" and then "look, three times is not a big deal" and so on... It makes me sad kind of, and it makes me worry about her. I think that when someone's friends get into situations like that it is natural to be concerned for them. So I let it slide; she knows I'm concerned, but besides that, it is none of my business and she can take care of herself. I just remember the 5th grade version of her, she was so different, so sweet. Not necessarily a better person (shes happier the way she is now) but she used to have clear ideas of what she would and would not do in life. Now I'm seeing those boundaries become blurry and disintegrate, and it freaks me out. What other personal boundaries will she over-step? I guess I just can't think like that. I've done things the 5th grade me never thought even existed... but that is sad too in a way... I dunno... I'm thinking too much again...
As if that wasn't enough, I tried talking to one of my really close friends about it, and what did he do? He turned it around on me! "Thats why I'm so worried about you, Mackenzie. She never did anything like that til she got with her bf who had done drugs before, and now youre getting with a guy who has done them before too. I'm worried you're gonna end up doing stuff like that too" So I answer "no way, I'm never gonna do cocaine." "Sure, thats what they all say." Wow, so I love how you're just positive I'm a future junkie... Thanks for having such faith in me and what I say! Asshole. "Thats what they all say." What an awful, generalizing statement. Ugh, that pisses me off. I call for emotional support and I get a fucking lecture. Argh. Piss off.
Ok, so one of my friends has gone a bit too far in the wonderful world of drugs. I've done pot, 'shrooms are alright, but cocaine, crack, acid, heroin, ecstasy: FUCK NO! She is doing so well in life right now. She's working through school and is with the guy she loves and wants to marry... and then this opportunity to try a hard drug comes along and even though its only been once, I'm so afraid it will turn into "this was only the second time" and then "look, three times is not a big deal" and so on... It makes me sad kind of, and it makes me worry about her. I think that when someone's friends get into situations like that it is natural to be concerned for them. So I let it slide; she knows I'm concerned, but besides that, it is none of my business and she can take care of herself. I just remember the 5th grade version of her, she was so different, so sweet. Not necessarily a better person (shes happier the way she is now) but she used to have clear ideas of what she would and would not do in life. Now I'm seeing those boundaries become blurry and disintegrate, and it freaks me out. What other personal boundaries will she over-step? I guess I just can't think like that. I've done things the 5th grade me never thought even existed... but that is sad too in a way... I dunno... I'm thinking too much again...
As if that wasn't enough, I tried talking to one of my really close friends about it, and what did he do? He turned it around on me! "Thats why I'm so worried about you, Mackenzie. She never did anything like that til she got with her bf who had done drugs before, and now youre getting with a guy who has done them before too. I'm worried you're gonna end up doing stuff like that too" So I answer "no way, I'm never gonna do cocaine." "Sure, thats what they all say." Wow, so I love how you're just positive I'm a future junkie... Thanks for having such faith in me and what I say! Asshole. "Thats what they all say." What an awful, generalizing statement. Ugh, that pisses me off. I call for emotional support and I get a fucking lecture. Argh. Piss off.