We will be winners: chapter 3 - Horsies, journeys and revelations
A/N : dedicated to Les.
"Horsies, journeys and revelations" - chapter three of my story WWBW, inspired by a K's Choice song
JUSTINS POV
"You know what you need, m'boy?" Her eyes are sparkling wickedly. I shake my head, both because of her antics and because I don't know the answer to her seemingly very logical question.
"Lander deserves a couple of weeks in the country. Why don't you treat him to a holiday,eh? Ride throughout the forests, alongside the rivers, rest that pretty little head of yours in the green green grass and dream. Dream all day long and sleep at night. Ride to the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream and to think your life over.Think about your Brian, and the answer will come to you at sea. Whaddya think?"
I smile a smile that would put the stars to shame and nod my head furiously.
"Well go ahead then, cowboy! Giddy-up!" She's come to the point where she's starting to imitate a horse, jumping and making very weird noises. I take it as my cue to leave and head for the stables.
"Hey Lander, ready to go?" I laugh when he starts rubbing his head against my jeans, tickling me. "NOoOOOOO!" I giggle. And after packing my backpack, I ride out to sea.
Day one.-.
As I lay here in the grass, Lander grazing next to me, I watch the clouds and think about him. I wonder if he even realizes I have left Pittsburgh. I sent a letter to Deb today, she'll probably hang it on display in the diner. It's not a very personal one, well, yeah, I mean, of course it's personal but it's not- intimate, that's the word. I said I was ok, that I was in good company and that one of my best friend lived here. He doesn't say much, but he's a great listener.He can fly like the wind. (that was my hint to Lander being a horse, hope she got that one) I told her I missed her, that I missed everybody, and told her to take care of my imaginary turtle (being our codename for Brian). "I love you,"I signed."Justin."
BRIANS POV
God, I miss him. And I wonder: Where is he?Is he eating well?Are they reminding him to take his medicin?Is he ok?
Does he ever think about me?
Deb and the gang are worried sick. All but Mickey of course. I CAN'T stand to be around him anymore. Not until he stops talking about Justin that way. Doesn't he know how I feel about Justin? Doesn't he know that I lo- love him? Christ, what kind of best friend is he if he can't even figure that out?
"CYNTHIA?CYNTHIA!!" I'm not mad, I'm desperate -- huge difference.
"You barked?" She's all smiles today. Everday. Doesn't she know that HE is gone?Doesn't she care?
"Could you please get Daphne Chanders on the phone for me?Thanks" I hope she can help me.Please who-ever-the-fuck's-out-there, let her be able to help me.
"Hee- Hello?"
"Hey gorgeous." I smile, she really is a beauty. Honestly, if I were straight, I'd marry her pronto.
"Brian?" She's amazed.confused.proud.
"Yeah, it's me. Could we - uh - talk, sometime?" Please, don't reject me. Don't.
"Can you come over now?"
Relief. "Yeah, I'll be there in 10. And Daphne...thank you."
"No problem Bri. Anytime."
DIALTONE
"Cynthia??I'm going out for a couple of hours. I'll be back in time for Eye Conic - optics."
She just nods.Maybe she does care.
15 minutes later - Daphne's appartement
"Hey beauty." She blushes and giggles for a moment, then comes to her senses.
"Hey Bri, come on in." I shut the door and follow her. And then I see it. Justins easel and an unfinished painting resting on it. A painting without a form, unable to read. But I can see. He was starting to paint me. As Daphne follows my eyes, she sighs a bit then says: "It's like he's still here- I have to have a ..." "Me too,"I confess."Cargo pants." We both laugh over this honest admission.
Then I become serious. "Was it- Did he leave because of me?" I don't think I want to hear the answer, but I know she'll give it anyway. Because she knows deep down I do want to hear.
"You want the truth or the pretty version?" No bullshit, this girl.
"Truth...I have to know, Daph. Please."
"Ok. He was broken when Ethan and he broke up.He left you for pretty words and all he got was bruises...H-"
"Woooh, slow down. Ethan fucking beat him?" She nods silently. " Oh God, I pushed him to it. I - I have to sit down.. HOW COULD I HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN? Oh no.nonono." I start mumbling...I've been so stupid!
"Brian, BRIAN! No sense in beating yourself up about it."
"You're right - I'm so gonna beat HIM up about it. Where the fuck is he?" I'm fuming.
"Europe" She says. Aah. Makes sense. "BUT WOULD YOU FUCKING SHUT UP SO I CAN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED BEYOND THAT?"
I stare at my hands, like a little boy caught stealing cookies.
"Right, thank you."She tells me." So, he was broken up about that, for a while even thought he deserved to be beaten, for leaving you. Luckily I talked him out of that." I nod my thanks.
"He missed you so much he had difficulty breathing. His allergies came more frequent than ever. He was so fucked up. And that's when he wrote you the letter. Then, when you didn't meet him that night, he got the message and left. I mean it was pretty clear that if you didn't come after that letter, you wanted nothing to do with him. Christ Brian, how could you just not show up?" Accusing.
"Daphne. I never got a letter." I panick. Fuck. So apparently he wrote me a letter asking me to meet him and I didn't show up? Fuck. That must've broken his heart?
"What?" She claps her hand in front of her mouth. "No, Brian, NO! He attached the letter to your door on Thursday, two weeks ago. Please, tell me there was a letter attached to it.Please! Oh fuck me, this is so not happening!"
I am panicking and really having trouble breathing."Daph," I manage to croak out,"the letter-what did it say?"
Tears are rolling down her brown cheeks."It said that, if you ever cared about him - you, you'd meet him that night at ten on the roof."
And then I start to cry. "I - I never saw it. I would've ran to the roof if I had. Daphne, I love him. HOW could I NOT have GOTTEN THAT LETTER?""What happened, Sunshine?" I whisper.
Wheels start rotating in my head. Thursday thursday thursday thursday. I came home - no letter. Wait- yes. Letter from Mickey.
His words appear in front of my eyes : So I let myself in - didn't think you'd mind.
NO!
"Horsies, journeys and revelations" - chapter three of my story WWBW, inspired by a K's Choice song
JUSTINS POV
"You know what you need, m'boy?" Her eyes are sparkling wickedly. I shake my head, both because of her antics and because I don't know the answer to her seemingly very logical question.
"Lander deserves a couple of weeks in the country. Why don't you treat him to a holiday,eh? Ride throughout the forests, alongside the rivers, rest that pretty little head of yours in the green green grass and dream. Dream all day long and sleep at night. Ride to the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream and to think your life over.Think about your Brian, and the answer will come to you at sea. Whaddya think?"
I smile a smile that would put the stars to shame and nod my head furiously.
"Well go ahead then, cowboy! Giddy-up!" She's come to the point where she's starting to imitate a horse, jumping and making very weird noises. I take it as my cue to leave and head for the stables.
"Hey Lander, ready to go?" I laugh when he starts rubbing his head against my jeans, tickling me. "NOoOOOOO!" I giggle. And after packing my backpack, I ride out to sea.
Day one.-.
As I lay here in the grass, Lander grazing next to me, I watch the clouds and think about him. I wonder if he even realizes I have left Pittsburgh. I sent a letter to Deb today, she'll probably hang it on display in the diner. It's not a very personal one, well, yeah, I mean, of course it's personal but it's not- intimate, that's the word. I said I was ok, that I was in good company and that one of my best friend lived here. He doesn't say much, but he's a great listener.He can fly like the wind. (that was my hint to Lander being a horse, hope she got that one) I told her I missed her, that I missed everybody, and told her to take care of my imaginary turtle (being our codename for Brian). "I love you,"I signed."Justin."
BRIANS POV
God, I miss him. And I wonder: Where is he?Is he eating well?Are they reminding him to take his medicin?Is he ok?
Does he ever think about me?
Deb and the gang are worried sick. All but Mickey of course. I CAN'T stand to be around him anymore. Not until he stops talking about Justin that way. Doesn't he know how I feel about Justin? Doesn't he know that I lo- love him? Christ, what kind of best friend is he if he can't even figure that out?
"CYNTHIA?CYNTHIA!!" I'm not mad, I'm desperate -- huge difference.
"You barked?" She's all smiles today. Everday. Doesn't she know that HE is gone?Doesn't she care?
"Could you please get Daphne Chanders on the phone for me?Thanks" I hope she can help me.Please who-ever-the-fuck's-out-there, let her be able to help me.
"Hee- Hello?"
"Hey gorgeous." I smile, she really is a beauty. Honestly, if I were straight, I'd marry her pronto.
"Brian?" She's amazed.confused.proud.
"Yeah, it's me. Could we - uh - talk, sometime?" Please, don't reject me. Don't.
"Can you come over now?"
Relief. "Yeah, I'll be there in 10. And Daphne...thank you."
"No problem Bri. Anytime."
DIALTONE
"Cynthia??I'm going out for a couple of hours. I'll be back in time for Eye Conic - optics."
She just nods.Maybe she does care.
15 minutes later - Daphne's appartement
"Hey beauty." She blushes and giggles for a moment, then comes to her senses.
"Hey Bri, come on in." I shut the door and follow her. And then I see it. Justins easel and an unfinished painting resting on it. A painting without a form, unable to read. But I can see. He was starting to paint me. As Daphne follows my eyes, she sighs a bit then says: "It's like he's still here- I have to have a ..." "Me too,"I confess."Cargo pants." We both laugh over this honest admission.
Then I become serious. "Was it- Did he leave because of me?" I don't think I want to hear the answer, but I know she'll give it anyway. Because she knows deep down I do want to hear.
"You want the truth or the pretty version?" No bullshit, this girl.
"Truth...I have to know, Daph. Please."
"Ok. He was broken when Ethan and he broke up.He left you for pretty words and all he got was bruises...H-"
"Woooh, slow down. Ethan fucking beat him?" She nods silently. " Oh God, I pushed him to it. I - I have to sit down.. HOW COULD I HAVE LET THIS HAPPEN? Oh no.nonono." I start mumbling...I've been so stupid!
"Brian, BRIAN! No sense in beating yourself up about it."
"You're right - I'm so gonna beat HIM up about it. Where the fuck is he?" I'm fuming.
"Europe" She says. Aah. Makes sense. "BUT WOULD YOU FUCKING SHUT UP SO I CAN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED BEYOND THAT?"
I stare at my hands, like a little boy caught stealing cookies.
"Right, thank you."She tells me." So, he was broken up about that, for a while even thought he deserved to be beaten, for leaving you. Luckily I talked him out of that." I nod my thanks.
"He missed you so much he had difficulty breathing. His allergies came more frequent than ever. He was so fucked up. And that's when he wrote you the letter. Then, when you didn't meet him that night, he got the message and left. I mean it was pretty clear that if you didn't come after that letter, you wanted nothing to do with him. Christ Brian, how could you just not show up?" Accusing.
"Daphne. I never got a letter." I panick. Fuck. So apparently he wrote me a letter asking me to meet him and I didn't show up? Fuck. That must've broken his heart?
"What?" She claps her hand in front of her mouth. "No, Brian, NO! He attached the letter to your door on Thursday, two weeks ago. Please, tell me there was a letter attached to it.Please! Oh fuck me, this is so not happening!"
I am panicking and really having trouble breathing."Daph," I manage to croak out,"the letter-what did it say?"
Tears are rolling down her brown cheeks."It said that, if you ever cared about him - you, you'd meet him that night at ten on the roof."
And then I start to cry. "I - I never saw it. I would've ran to the roof if I had. Daphne, I love him. HOW could I NOT have GOTTEN THAT LETTER?""What happened, Sunshine?" I whisper.
Wheels start rotating in my head. Thursday thursday thursday thursday. I came home - no letter. Wait- yes. Letter from Mickey.
His words appear in front of my eyes : So I let myself in - didn't think you'd mind.
NO!