(no subject)

[_whatitistoburn]

meh joe idk btian likes me a fucking lot nd he wants to be with me nd i like him but just a little bit but i think i love joe but i know i like joe so much more than brian but anyways yesterday was a half day so i hung out with shelby in the gym wwhile bicos played basket ball but joe wouldnt come over to see me but brian did but then bicos went to eat so i took of my splint to whip tenis balls back nd forth with shelby to feel pain to get my mind off of joe cuz he was so mad at me but when they came back joe sat on the bleachers things nd i went over to see him he told me to put on my splint nd that i was gunna cause him to go into a deep depression nd that was it nd then he got up nd left to go back to his class so i went to walk after him cuz i needed to talk to him so when i calling his name when he was walking he didnt turn arround i collaspsed nd started crying nd brian came out of the gym nd wanted to hold me nd comfort me but i pushed him away so he got upset with joe so he went to get him but joe wouldnt go so he went to get him like 4 times nd brian kicked a chair intro the wall nd was like ur girlfriend is out there crying nd ur in here not doing anything about it. but the bico councler was talking to me nd was trying to calm me down while i was sitting on the floor against the wall in the hall nd shaking really bad nd joe finally came out nd then i guess we were okay cuz he was like its all over nd we're gunna get thru this... so when i got home i called brian like 6 times but he wouldnt pick up but when he called me back he was so upset nd he said he didnt wanna talk nd he cant see me nd joe together cuz it hurt way too much then he hung up nd i started to cry again nd i cried my self to sleep then i hear my fone ringing so i picked up nd it was brian nd he was like im sorry about earlier i was just really sad im like dsont be sorry u have a right to be then he was lioke i dont know why u put up with joe i was so pissed he made u cry nd i couldnt do ne thing to comfort u nd then im like yea nd im the reason why hes going into a deep depression nd he got so mad nd joe called his cell but he didnt wanna pick up so he pressed the hang up button nd he was like idk he was like em u dont deserve to be treated like this nd he wants to make me happy nd he was like ide never make u cry nd stuff nd then joe called my cell nd he was like tell brian to anser his cell so i did then joe hung up on me nd then idk joe went over brians house nd they went for a walk nd talked nd idk then brian called me wen they were done nd joe was playing ps2 nd me nd brian were talking on the fone joe picks up nd was like dump me nd go out with brian.. i started crying brian put down the font nd started to like kinda yell at joe so joe was like lets just be friends i went totally numb nd brian was getting upset cuz he couldnt do anything about it nd then when brian went upstairs to get food hes likle em i wanna be with u lets just go out nd leave this place nd be happy i wanna be with u i wanna make u smile nd make u happy nd i just couldnt talk so joe came back dowwn stairs hes like tell me what will make u happy im like u not telling me to dump u nd go out with ur best fucking friend then hes like well ive never been in this situation cuz my x's just call me nd dump me.. im like im not gunna do that i told u nothing would ever make me happier than being with u so hes like k lets work this out nd idk ive never cried so much in one day nd idk it sucked but i no longer have any more emotions in me nd i hate it but idk i called him today hes like ill call u later but idk if hes gunna nd then i called brian nd hes like ah god im going to the mall im like cool hes like no cuz i hate being in latge groups of ppl then im like then come here hes like i might so brian might come over cuz joe "cant" but hes gunna end up hangin out with brian si what fucking ever idk ne more i hate this....i wish joe cared like brian dose but he dusnt well if he dus he sure as hell dusnt show it but what ever

amanda asked out elizabeth yesyerday so yay i guess idk

wow im having a fucking bad week