Happy Birthday Rob
Well, I made it back from Florida. I will post more on that later when I have more time.
Right now, however, I need to recap Rob's 21st Birthday Party.
I walked to Noah's from class last night just for happy hour. About 15 minutes later, Rob showed up. People were basically showering him with drinks. So much so that he took out a pen and marked two columns on his arm under which he would keep a tally; "Beers" and "Shots." While heavily intoxicated already, Rob stepped up and played some Galaga on the arcade machine. He fricking amazed me and Seamus. On a single quarter, he got to the Third Dimension, and racked up about 78,000 points. I have decided that Rob + heavy amounts of alcohol yields an amazing competitor in just about anything. (Including women as you will see later).
By the time he left Noah's at about 7:30, he was already on about 8 drinks I think. We then headed to the Hyde Park Brewery. Rob had some more drinks and some food. A while later, we took a short drive to the Toucan Grill. The bartender was more than happy to make Rob some birthday drinks that would kill any normal human being. Not Rob, though. He asked for a Mai Tai, but she didn't know how to make one. She handed Rob her black book of things she can make. Instead of locating the bevarage's ingredients, Rob instead took out a pen and proceeded to write his name and phone number on the inside of the first page.
After a few minutes, the bartender came back with a shot of "three wise men" for our newly legal friend. He downed it and said that it was "tasty." I think the bartender shat herself upon hearing sugh a reply. She clearly did not realize the inhumanity that is Mr. Egan. After letting Rob hit on the bartender for about 15 more minutes, and after getting him a few more drinks, Dan, Rob's older brother showed up. He bought Rob his 21st drink of the night. After which, Rob decided to go use the bathroom. Vomitastic outcome.
Whe he washed his face and returned, Rob was quite alive and seemingly sober. To put an end to this, Seamus and I ordered up a double-shot of Jose Cuervo Tequilla. Rob gagged halfway through it, but continued to drink anyway, the sorry fool he was at that moment.
We left for the Beech Tree Grill near Vassar (on an aside, Seamus and I combined our skills: His Pizza Delivery skills paired with my Townie Powers allowed us to take back roads and get to this bar 8 minutes faster than the other two cars. Here, the bartender turned out to be a fat bitch. I say this, because she refused to give Rob any special Birthday drinks. (Second aside: Not a single bar had any 151. Thus Rob received no Flaming Jesuses.) While standing outside of this Vassar bar, I asked some random passers-by to wish Rob a happy birthday. One of them, Jasmine, did. She then walked into her nearby apartment building, into which rob followed saying "Thank you, Jasmine, I'll always remember that name." By the time he got in, he had lost sight of the girls, so he came back out. We then went into the neighboring convenience store filled with hippies and feminazis. In said store, Rob tried to get into the freezer and grab some Guiness. It was locked. Instead, he and I wrote our dislike for Vassar in some notebooks that were on a table. Rob found interest in one scribbling in which Abe Lincoln was hanging and some rich kid hippie jargon was underneath. Rob walked out with that notebook in his hand. What I did not see, though, was the case of Pabst Blue Ribbon that he also sneaked out of the store. Go Rob.
We drove back to Rob's house where Seamus unveiled the bottle of 99 Apples that he bought for Rob. We then walked to the Foxhole. The bartender knew Rob as "The Birthday Boy," somehow. She also knew Seamus as "The Pizza Guy," for more obvious reasons. While here, Rob hit on girls left and right, and also got about 5 free drinks from the bartender. Some of which she did not intend to be free; rather, she forgot to take my money to pay for them. Sucker.
Our final stop was McCoys...the place that I never wanted to go again, but Rob did. We got in and Rob wandered around a bit. It was no big deal anymore, so Seamus and I allowed him to and just watched from a distance. K104.7 FM was holding some event. The DJ was upstairs in an area surrounded by streamers and balloons. I guess it looked like a birthday party, since Rob was do drawn to it. About a minute later, we heard balloons popping, followed by the DJ saying over the microphone, "Go Downstairs!" Again, he repeated it. When the song ended, he said, "Hey, Lou, can you get this retard down from here? Hey buddy, no pussy for you tonight. Goodbye." What a dick. Security at one point shoved Rob, which pissed me off. They guided him through the dance floor toward the door. I lost sight of them. Seamus and I assumed that Rob was ejected, so we went to the door. When asked, the guard said, "No, we did not kick your friend out."
*ahem*.......LIES!
Rob called both me and Seamus on our phones telling us that he was kicked out. I walked with them back to the corner of Orchard Place, then said goodbye and made my way to my street. Rob seemed stable at that point (despite drinking 20+ drinks in about 4.5 hours), but judging from Seamus's away message, they were up until about 7AM. Poor Rob. I hope you enjoyed it. You kick ass.
Right now, however, I need to recap Rob's 21st Birthday Party.
I walked to Noah's from class last night just for happy hour. About 15 minutes later, Rob showed up. People were basically showering him with drinks. So much so that he took out a pen and marked two columns on his arm under which he would keep a tally; "Beers" and "Shots." While heavily intoxicated already, Rob stepped up and played some Galaga on the arcade machine. He fricking amazed me and Seamus. On a single quarter, he got to the Third Dimension, and racked up about 78,000 points. I have decided that Rob + heavy amounts of alcohol yields an amazing competitor in just about anything. (Including women as you will see later).
By the time he left Noah's at about 7:30, he was already on about 8 drinks I think. We then headed to the Hyde Park Brewery. Rob had some more drinks and some food. A while later, we took a short drive to the Toucan Grill. The bartender was more than happy to make Rob some birthday drinks that would kill any normal human being. Not Rob, though. He asked for a Mai Tai, but she didn't know how to make one. She handed Rob her black book of things she can make. Instead of locating the bevarage's ingredients, Rob instead took out a pen and proceeded to write his name and phone number on the inside of the first page.
After a few minutes, the bartender came back with a shot of "three wise men" for our newly legal friend. He downed it and said that it was "tasty." I think the bartender shat herself upon hearing sugh a reply. She clearly did not realize the inhumanity that is Mr. Egan. After letting Rob hit on the bartender for about 15 more minutes, and after getting him a few more drinks, Dan, Rob's older brother showed up. He bought Rob his 21st drink of the night. After which, Rob decided to go use the bathroom. Vomitastic outcome.
Whe he washed his face and returned, Rob was quite alive and seemingly sober. To put an end to this, Seamus and I ordered up a double-shot of Jose Cuervo Tequilla. Rob gagged halfway through it, but continued to drink anyway, the sorry fool he was at that moment.
We left for the Beech Tree Grill near Vassar (on an aside, Seamus and I combined our skills: His Pizza Delivery skills paired with my Townie Powers allowed us to take back roads and get to this bar 8 minutes faster than the other two cars. Here, the bartender turned out to be a fat bitch. I say this, because she refused to give Rob any special Birthday drinks. (Second aside: Not a single bar had any 151. Thus Rob received no Flaming Jesuses.) While standing outside of this Vassar bar, I asked some random passers-by to wish Rob a happy birthday. One of them, Jasmine, did. She then walked into her nearby apartment building, into which rob followed saying "Thank you, Jasmine, I'll always remember that name." By the time he got in, he had lost sight of the girls, so he came back out. We then went into the neighboring convenience store filled with hippies and feminazis. In said store, Rob tried to get into the freezer and grab some Guiness. It was locked. Instead, he and I wrote our dislike for Vassar in some notebooks that were on a table. Rob found interest in one scribbling in which Abe Lincoln was hanging and some rich kid hippie jargon was underneath. Rob walked out with that notebook in his hand. What I did not see, though, was the case of Pabst Blue Ribbon that he also sneaked out of the store. Go Rob.
We drove back to Rob's house where Seamus unveiled the bottle of 99 Apples that he bought for Rob. We then walked to the Foxhole. The bartender knew Rob as "The Birthday Boy," somehow. She also knew Seamus as "The Pizza Guy," for more obvious reasons. While here, Rob hit on girls left and right, and also got about 5 free drinks from the bartender. Some of which she did not intend to be free; rather, she forgot to take my money to pay for them. Sucker.
Our final stop was McCoys...the place that I never wanted to go again, but Rob did. We got in and Rob wandered around a bit. It was no big deal anymore, so Seamus and I allowed him to and just watched from a distance. K104.7 FM was holding some event. The DJ was upstairs in an area surrounded by streamers and balloons. I guess it looked like a birthday party, since Rob was do drawn to it. About a minute later, we heard balloons popping, followed by the DJ saying over the microphone, "Go Downstairs!" Again, he repeated it. When the song ended, he said, "Hey, Lou, can you get this retard down from here? Hey buddy, no pussy for you tonight. Goodbye." What a dick. Security at one point shoved Rob, which pissed me off. They guided him through the dance floor toward the door. I lost sight of them. Seamus and I assumed that Rob was ejected, so we went to the door. When asked, the guard said, "No, we did not kick your friend out."
*ahem*.......LIES!
Rob called both me and Seamus on our phones telling us that he was kicked out. I walked with them back to the corner of Orchard Place, then said goodbye and made my way to my street. Rob seemed stable at that point (despite drinking 20+ drinks in about 4.5 hours), but judging from Seamus's away message, they were up until about 7AM. Poor Rob. I hope you enjoyed it. You kick ass.