Merry Christmas*
Merry Christmas everyone. i got some nice things from santa. christmas eve was pretty bad though. my dad wasn't with us cause my parents are split up. yeah. and my grandma fell in the kitchen. and she couldnt get up so we hada call an ambulance. and everyone was crying. so we were in the hospital till 3am. and then came home. but she just broke her upper arm and shoulder. wow. rough night.
here are some questions i thought i should post. cause their entertaining to read; enjoy.
-can vegetarians eat animal cracker? or teddy grams? or goldfish???
If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldnt you be able to go anywhere you want?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st ? January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
Can a person choke and die on a life savor?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
What happens when you say ?hi? to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Why do they call it ?Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? when they know the answer is going to be everyone?
Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?
Why is a woman in a suit a "business person? but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?
When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?
Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?
Could a tanning bed kill a vampire?
If not would they get a tan?
How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?
Can you make cheese out of human breast milk?
IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
If you cut off a glowworm's tail would it be delighted?
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Can you sleep forever without being
in coma?
Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?
If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
How come it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathcliff Huxtible?
If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn't it get better fuel mileage?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
that they forgot?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
Do cows have calf muscles?
How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
Do babies produce more spit than adults?
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
Why do you go ?back and forth? to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why does shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog?s bottoms to say hello, why don?t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
I never understood why people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Well of course it is! Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
It amazes me that people are willing to get up to search the entire room for the remote control, but they refuse to walk up to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
Why do people point at their wrist while asking for the time? I know where my watch is, where is your's? Do you point at your crotch when asking for the bathroom?
When you're at the movies, why do people say, "Did you see that?" or "Watch this part!" Well what else am I going to do? Stare at the ceiling?
Why do people ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn`t really give me much of a choice, did you? lol
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If its new, then there has never been anything before it. If its an improvement, then there must have been something before it!
Why is it when a cop pulls you over he asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know considering you pulled me over!!
How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?
Why do you write things "down" but type things "up"?
Where is the good in "good-bye"?
When you are at a stoplight, why do people feel the need to pull up six inches just because the person in front of you did? Do you really think six more inches towards your destination is really going to do you any good?
Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is great tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do you park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why is it when a man talks dirty to a woman its sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man it's $3.95 per minute?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
<> Merry Christmas <>
here are some questions i thought i should post. cause their entertaining to read; enjoy.
-can vegetarians eat animal cracker? or teddy grams? or goldfish???
If you were under house arrest and you lived in a mobile home, wouldnt you be able to go anywhere you want?
If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st ? January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?
If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?
When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?
Can a person choke and die on a life savor?
Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?
What happens when you say ?hi? to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?
Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
Why do they call it ?Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? when they know the answer is going to be everyone?
Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?
If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?
Why is a woman in a suit a "business person? but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?
When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?
Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?
Could a tanning bed kill a vampire?
If not would they get a tan?
How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?
Can you make cheese out of human breast milk?
IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?
If you cut off a glowworm's tail would it be delighted?
How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?
If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?
Do Dutch people always split the bill?
Can you sleep forever without being
in coma?
Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?
If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?
How come it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathcliff Huxtible?
If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty? Wouldn't it get better fuel mileage?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?
Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?
Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?
If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?
Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?
Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember
that they forgot?
If you died with braces on would they take them off?
Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?
If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?
If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?
Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?
Do cows have calf muscles?
How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried potatoes?
Do babies produce more spit than adults?
Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?
Why do you go ?back and forth? to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why does shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog?s bottoms to say hello, why don?t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
I never understood why people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Well of course it is! Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
It amazes me that people are willing to get up to search the entire room for the remote control, but they refuse to walk up to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
Why do people point at their wrist while asking for the time? I know where my watch is, where is your's? Do you point at your crotch when asking for the bathroom?
When you're at the movies, why do people say, "Did you see that?" or "Watch this part!" Well what else am I going to do? Stare at the ceiling?
Why do people ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn`t really give me much of a choice, did you? lol
When something is "new and improved", which is it? If its new, then there has never been anything before it. If its an improvement, then there must have been something before it!
Why is it when a cop pulls you over he asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know considering you pulled me over!!
How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?
Why do you write things "down" but type things "up"?
Where is the good in "good-bye"?
When you are at a stoplight, why do people feel the need to pull up six inches just because the person in front of you did? Do you really think six more inches towards your destination is really going to do you any good?
Why does the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouths closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is great tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do you park on a driveway but drive on a parkway?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Why is it when a man talks dirty to a woman its sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man it's $3.95 per minute?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
<> Merry Christmas <>