Bananas give you cancer, don't say i didn't warn you.
So here I am in Chi city about to get a cold. This is a big deal for me since I get sick about once a year. My mother says it’s because I’m strong willed and resilient when in reality it’s most likely because I licked doorknobs up until the age of eight. At some point in my endeavor to refine my senses I intern made my white blood cells indestructible, why I could fill a syringe with my white blood cells and sell it to children from countries that force them to make the clothes I’m wearing right now and cure them all! Of what you ask, ANYTHING…that’s what. Too bad the pharmaceutical companies stopped me from curing the world from frown -syndrome. You win again capitalism, damn you’re good.
But seriously, I really hate having sex with my roommate. How do I get myself into shitjams like these? I move in and tell myself “Ari, no fucking the roommate this time you remember what happened last time” but then before you know it I’m going for a jog down her pink runway wearing nothing but a smile and a leather mask (safety word creamy center). It’s not like I don’t like having sex with her it’s just that I would rather not, or masturbate. Sex with her is fun or something, but I can’t stop thinking about jacky. Jacky is my love of loves and we will be reunited once I save enough money to go back to the MIA, but until then I’m here madly in love with her, fucking someone else simply because proximity beats celibacy in a knife fight.
To make matters worse, she’s extra horny the week. It’s like her vagina is a vampire. So get this, vagepire is just going apeshit with lust so I just start to mentioning Jacky like she was just invented and this turns her off of cock hunter mode so fast I decide to use my new found powers for good and forget the whole thing. Later on she apologizes for being a horn ball and what not, I accept and go down on her for no apparent reason. To seal the deal I go ahead and give her the red light special and have her pump lady liquids into my mouth until she has none left. She came so hard I had to surf out of her room.
In case you were wondering there was no point to this entry, I’m just trying to catch my flow again. It seems like my personality has changed since I haven’t been writing as much as I use to, so this is my attempt to gain control of my voice yet again.
And yes, I did say Vagepire.
But seriously, I really hate having sex with my roommate. How do I get myself into shitjams like these? I move in and tell myself “Ari, no fucking the roommate this time you remember what happened last time” but then before you know it I’m going for a jog down her pink runway wearing nothing but a smile and a leather mask (safety word creamy center). It’s not like I don’t like having sex with her it’s just that I would rather not, or masturbate. Sex with her is fun or something, but I can’t stop thinking about jacky. Jacky is my love of loves and we will be reunited once I save enough money to go back to the MIA, but until then I’m here madly in love with her, fucking someone else simply because proximity beats celibacy in a knife fight.
To make matters worse, she’s extra horny the week. It’s like her vagina is a vampire. So get this, vagepire is just going apeshit with lust so I just start to mentioning Jacky like she was just invented and this turns her off of cock hunter mode so fast I decide to use my new found powers for good and forget the whole thing. Later on she apologizes for being a horn ball and what not, I accept and go down on her for no apparent reason. To seal the deal I go ahead and give her the red light special and have her pump lady liquids into my mouth until she has none left. She came so hard I had to surf out of her room.
In case you were wondering there was no point to this entry, I’m just trying to catch my flow again. It seems like my personality has changed since I haven’t been writing as much as I use to, so this is my attempt to gain control of my voice yet again.
And yes, I did say Vagepire.