random/out of nowhere/how i feel. read if you want i dont even care.
ok guys i've calmed down a little after talking to blaire jess and chris. and well uhm i just wanna say im going to be taking a little time for myself i need to relize a lot of things. like why i am constantly at war with myself. and why i am the way that i am. i just wanna say that vinny. dude. u are a great friend but me&you won't be talking for a while due to the fact that its just a little too painful for me. but whatever like chris said there are plenty of fish in the sea. even though im not looking for anything right know. heathers bait shop is closed ! (lol). but yeah i just need to relize the things i do wrong. and just take time for myself like jess said. and just spend time with my friends like blaire said lol. well this weekend im hanging out with jenn on sat. and blaire on sun ? and nothing to do on friday. i just need to rest. i need to do a lot of things that im not even sure of what they are right know. i just can't believe that one little stupid comment that someone made can turn into some HUGE battle. and make my life a hell. like seriously. i didnt do anything to deserve what i got tonight. and i can say that without feelin concieted . i try my best to be nice to everyone. i try my best to make other people feel better. i could have a million problems in the world and i'd push them aside to see if so-n-so is okay. ya know? and how do i get repaid. im not asking for a fricken life time commitment when it comes to guys just someone that i find amazing and someone who could be there for me ya know? and look what happens when i thought i found it. he likes my friend. but you know what. i'm over it. because if he doesn't want me . than whatever obviously he's not the one for me. i just hope there is a one for me. but yea yea this made absolutely no sense. it was so random and out of nowhere. but whatever.. i gotta go to sleep i need to cry/think/sleep/listen to music.
ill talk to you guys when i feel im ready to. friends dont wait for me to come and talk to you. i need time to myself right know
Love always,
The girl with the fake smile <3
xox