(no subject)
What can I say... I've been feeling a little sad and scared the past few days. Because I don't sleep much I'm terribly moody, and I fear that I'm pushing Olaf away from me. He has assured me he won't just walk out on me like that, and I know he won't, but I feel guilty for treating him unfair.
On monday Olaf and I got our medications for Gambia. And I made the Quiche, which was good. Olaf left around eight and I watched the L word. It made me cry for no particular reason. Or maybe it did have a reason but I just don't feel like sharing. Then I did some internet stuff and decided to go to bed. I couldn't sleep so I watched Moulin Rouge. I had bought it that day, along with Kill Bill and Kill Bill 2. (for only €25!) And I cried again. From the moment Nichole Kidman started singing Gorecki from Lamb (Lamb you idiots who made the movie credits, not Blam! LAMB!) untill early in the morning. I just couldn't stop! It was a lot of things from the past five years that I never really allowed myself to feel sad for, and they all came out.
Let's hope for a better day today... I'm gonna do some shopping with Olaf and I'm gonna eat fish tonight. And I'm gonna watch the sky when it's dark to see if I can see that aurora-like light again, just like last night. And maybe catch a tan, because the weather is great!
On monday Olaf and I got our medications for Gambia. And I made the Quiche, which was good. Olaf left around eight and I watched the L word. It made me cry for no particular reason. Or maybe it did have a reason but I just don't feel like sharing. Then I did some internet stuff and decided to go to bed. I couldn't sleep so I watched Moulin Rouge. I had bought it that day, along with Kill Bill and Kill Bill 2. (for only €25!) And I cried again. From the moment Nichole Kidman started singing Gorecki from Lamb (Lamb you idiots who made the movie credits, not Blam! LAMB!) untill early in the morning. I just couldn't stop! It was a lot of things from the past five years that I never really allowed myself to feel sad for, and they all came out.
Let's hope for a better day today... I'm gonna do some shopping with Olaf and I'm gonna eat fish tonight. And I'm gonna watch the sky when it's dark to see if I can see that aurora-like light again, just like last night. And maybe catch a tan, because the weather is great!