(no subject)
Its 9:55pm. A girl sits alone in a dark room. Her legs folded closed to her body, arms hugging them loosely. She closes her eyes as she lowers her head to rest on her knees. The familiar taste of salt as tears leak from her dignity once again. Her hands reach to her hair in frustration and as she clenches her hair she imagines pulling them by the roots. One knee falls to touch the grey carpet. Thoughts of self destruction fly through her head. Her hands release and guilt washes over her. For a second she thinks the humming of the radio is almost audible and she lifts her head. An idealism broken when she realized that unlike her, someone else was not alone. She allows the other leg fall to join the other and crosses them. Feelings of self hatred wash over her and suddenly she rises, slowly pulling the door open and walking down the hallway. She quickly glances at her figure in the full length hall mirror then pushes the bathroom doors open. Empty. All six cubical vacant. She pauses uncertainly as she pushes open the door to number six. Usually five, but now more often number six. Glancing at her reflection as she turns to close the door she stops. Leers at herself. The imperfections she sees distorts the perception and lies of others. Disgusted she closes the door on herself and turns. Facing the clean, white bowel she pulls up her black sleeves. The beginnings of self affliction in view she feels exposed. Not wanting to view her own weakness she peers down at the distorted reflection and lifts two fingers to her mouth. The familiar taste of salt which allows her to cry in a different way. Shaking, her mind numbs as she chokes on her fingers... She tastes her sour hate and her pain subsides as she watches it spill into the bowel. This is the last time, once again. But there will always be more lies, more last times. There is a sense of relief as she unlocks the door and steps into a calmer reality. Washing her hands she forces herself to look up. A pale face with sad red rimmed eyes overshadows her soul. Tearing her gaze she rinses her mouth. Closing her eyes she is suddenly dizzy and only just realizes how exhausted she is. She opens her eyes, takes a breath. Ignoring the crying reflection she turns and walks away.