Your Heart is an empty room
You let me continue to fall in love with you, when you have absolutely no intention of reciprocating any of it. I've been trying for over a year to break the pedistal I hold you on... And Its sick how fucking insane you have driven me to become.
I'm not going to be your friend, because I cant be, not yet. And I am certainly not going to be the girl that gives you advice on how to deal with other relationships....it makes me sick that you would even put me in that position. I'm sick of trying to pretend like its all ok, because you said yourself that you can see that I am not. The choking back of tears is a feeling that has become all too familiar.
Yes, I love you... but at this point I have to love myself more. I've lost myself in the fog that is false hope. Not only have I lost myself, I've lost the respect of so many of my peers. What have I become? An emotional punching bag, here to recieve any kind of anything that you throw my way.
The line should have been drawn a long time ago, but I prefered not to acknowledge the truth. What you and I had was absolutely phenomenal while it lasted, if not life changing.. but that was then.. and we have both changed.
I will not subject myself to this emotional tug-o-war any longer. We will still talk as much as we always have, and I will not cut you off, because I know that that's not a possibility. Our past remains as nothing more than a fond memory, that door has closed.
This will take time, and it's not easy....but I have to build myself back up again, if I have any hope of being happy again.
I'm not going to be your friend, because I cant be, not yet. And I am certainly not going to be the girl that gives you advice on how to deal with other relationships....it makes me sick that you would even put me in that position. I'm sick of trying to pretend like its all ok, because you said yourself that you can see that I am not. The choking back of tears is a feeling that has become all too familiar.
Yes, I love you... but at this point I have to love myself more. I've lost myself in the fog that is false hope. Not only have I lost myself, I've lost the respect of so many of my peers. What have I become? An emotional punching bag, here to recieve any kind of anything that you throw my way.
The line should have been drawn a long time ago, but I prefered not to acknowledge the truth. What you and I had was absolutely phenomenal while it lasted, if not life changing.. but that was then.. and we have both changed.
I will not subject myself to this emotional tug-o-war any longer. We will still talk as much as we always have, and I will not cut you off, because I know that that's not a possibility. Our past remains as nothing more than a fond memory, that door has closed.
This will take time, and it's not easy....but I have to build myself back up again, if I have any hope of being happy again.