self therapy
I had a great childhood. I grew up in a healthy family. Not just a healthy one actually my family is what you would call the perfect family. My parents are still, after almost 30 years, happily married. I grew up well protected in a good neighbourhood with two cats and an older brother. I had friends, I was good at school. My childhood was a perfect childhood. So why in goods name did I end up so screwed up? Why am I unhapy 90% of the time? Why has my once so overwhelming confidence vanished over the past 5 month? Why am I making myself vomit whenever I've indulged in a bit toomuch food? I achieved it all. Graduated first in my class. Got the perfect internship and my perfect little one room appartment. Ok, I didn't get into my dream university. But I expected that. Everything is just like I planned it. Everything. So why am I not happy? Why do I sometimes wish to hit my head against the wall?
I was a pretty child. Very cute actually. I had these amazingly huge blue eyes and a pretty little blond bob. I had good grades in school, without trying. I was already lazy in primary school. After 5th grade I left the local primary school to go to the city to a private school. I left partly because I wanted to do the same things my older brother did and partly because I wasn't very popular. I didn't bow to the will of the most popular girl, so she kicked me out of her 'group'. In the new school I found new friends and I was relatively popular. I remember my first year there as fairly happy. I had my friends, I got good grades and I felt accepted. That's pretty much all a girl hopes for at that age. I didn't feel attractive at that age though. I do believe that's because my haircut was awefull and I had to wear braces all the time. The second year was ok two, although a had a runin with my two bff's and we became motal enemies. I think it was around that time that I became secluded and started getting interesten in computers and the internet. I really was a secret geek, but avoided to let anyone at school know about it. I found a new group of friend but got into a fight with them too. That was around the time my first mayour low hit me.
I was a pretty child. Very cute actually. I had these amazingly huge blue eyes and a pretty little blond bob. I had good grades in school, without trying. I was already lazy in primary school. After 5th grade I left the local primary school to go to the city to a private school. I left partly because I wanted to do the same things my older brother did and partly because I wasn't very popular. I didn't bow to the will of the most popular girl, so she kicked me out of her 'group'. In the new school I found new friends and I was relatively popular. I remember my first year there as fairly happy. I had my friends, I got good grades and I felt accepted. That's pretty much all a girl hopes for at that age. I didn't feel attractive at that age though. I do believe that's because my haircut was awefull and I had to wear braces all the time. The second year was ok two, although a had a runin with my two bff's and we became motal enemies. I think it was around that time that I became secluded and started getting interesten in computers and the internet. I really was a secret geek, but avoided to let anyone at school know about it. I found a new group of friend but got into a fight with them too. That was around the time my first mayour low hit me.