But in all of my salvation, I still felt imprisoned inside that holding cell that is myself.
I had an enjoyable weekend; there was bowling and hockey and the dollar show (I didn't even fear for my life that much) and coney islands and good company.
But I don't really sleep anymore, it's odd. I stay up all night, painting, writing, smoking, or just thinking. And I'm probably a little bit insane. I could probably talk forever, too, but nobody's awake (except James, for a while, so we have lots of 2 a.m. conversations), and, crazy or not, I'm not really one for talking to myself, so I listen to music. But I'm getting some good paintings out of it, and even better paragraphs, so maybe the loss of my mind and my sleep isn't a total waste.
I think I'm finally developing my own style. Originality has evaded me for a few years now...well, since I came to Mt. Carmel, to be entirely honest. Not that I regret going to MC. Sure, the lack of education was less than helpful, but I met most of my favorite people there, and I'm making up for lost time education-wise at U of M. However, I can't deny that those red and white walls nearly devoured my creativity. Fortunately, it's coming back. I'm still not entirely original, but I'm not sure that's even possible anymore. It's all been done before. But the new, crazy person creations are much less generic than the older, saner stuff.
Still, I should probably sleep sometimes.
In closing, I'd like to have an adventure. No, I really would. It's time for a change of pace, if only temporarily.
Spontaneity, anyone?
But I don't really sleep anymore, it's odd. I stay up all night, painting, writing, smoking, or just thinking. And I'm probably a little bit insane. I could probably talk forever, too, but nobody's awake (except James, for a while, so we have lots of 2 a.m. conversations), and, crazy or not, I'm not really one for talking to myself, so I listen to music. But I'm getting some good paintings out of it, and even better paragraphs, so maybe the loss of my mind and my sleep isn't a total waste.
I think I'm finally developing my own style. Originality has evaded me for a few years now...well, since I came to Mt. Carmel, to be entirely honest. Not that I regret going to MC. Sure, the lack of education was less than helpful, but I met most of my favorite people there, and I'm making up for lost time education-wise at U of M. However, I can't deny that those red and white walls nearly devoured my creativity. Fortunately, it's coming back. I'm still not entirely original, but I'm not sure that's even possible anymore. It's all been done before. But the new, crazy person creations are much less generic than the older, saner stuff.
Still, I should probably sleep sometimes.
In closing, I'd like to have an adventure. No, I really would. It's time for a change of pace, if only temporarily.
Spontaneity, anyone?