(no subject)
Well, I got a job to help do something useful with my time…I work at Vonachen’s. Its all right… I think. I’d rather be doing nothing at all, but then I think I wouldn’t like that either… so I’m stuck until I find something better to do.
Something has been bothering me for many days now…I know that when megan goes away to college…that’s it. I can feel it; even though we say one-hundred times a day that we’ll stay in touch…I just think that both of us are going to be unrecognizable to each other in about a year. I don’t know why I think this…or maybe I do… but it is better this way, she needs to be on her own, she has a lot of growing up to do.
I’ve been increasingly angry the last few months, as if I’m harboring something. I might just be annoyed to the point of utter frustration, but with what, i don't know; it’s that funny feeling of being pulled in too many directions. I can’t explain it with out pissing people off, but I can’t very well just sit on it. I don’t know what to do…I can’t wait to leave…I just want to break all ties with everything…its becoming a burden to associate memories. I love being with my friends whenever we do something…but it has become complicated. It’s lacking something, and I think everyone is feeling it…its lacking in general simplicity or vulnerability or maybe just purity…I can’t tell.
[I’m so fucking stupid…I erased all my folders, files, and rare music I collected over 5 years of SOAD last week without backing it up…why you might ask? To see if my computer would run faster…it wasn’t even the mass of stuff…it was fucking spyware…so if anyone has any way of getting stuff off the net and would so kindly let me use that capability for a little while and burn a disc…I would love you forever!]
Something has been bothering me for many days now…I know that when megan goes away to college…that’s it. I can feel it; even though we say one-hundred times a day that we’ll stay in touch…I just think that both of us are going to be unrecognizable to each other in about a year. I don’t know why I think this…or maybe I do… but it is better this way, she needs to be on her own, she has a lot of growing up to do.
I’ve been increasingly angry the last few months, as if I’m harboring something. I might just be annoyed to the point of utter frustration, but with what, i don't know; it’s that funny feeling of being pulled in too many directions. I can’t explain it with out pissing people off, but I can’t very well just sit on it. I don’t know what to do…I can’t wait to leave…I just want to break all ties with everything…its becoming a burden to associate memories. I love being with my friends whenever we do something…but it has become complicated. It’s lacking something, and I think everyone is feeling it…its lacking in general simplicity or vulnerability or maybe just purity…I can’t tell.
[I’m so fucking stupid…I erased all my folders, files, and rare music I collected over 5 years of SOAD last week without backing it up…why you might ask? To see if my computer would run faster…it wasn’t even the mass of stuff…it was fucking spyware…so if anyone has any way of getting stuff off the net and would so kindly let me use that capability for a little while and burn a disc…I would love you forever!]