How did it ever get like this??
I wonder everynight and day why we broke up.. I still love you and you love me I guess. Just one day you couldnt handle a relationship and you wanted to just be friends.. Well you got over me fast.. already kissing other chicks.. I wonder how much I really ment to you.. I want to know if now I'm just a sex toy and can just be tossed aside.. I dont really want to know, it would hurt too much. You ran away from me and your still running. I cant take it.. I really cant. I want you so bad and it hurts soooo much that you can just go on everyday like theres nothing wrong in your life. It's obvious that you love being free and not "controled" or commited.. Thats fine.. everyones like that I guess.. I'm the only one who really only wants you and can be with just you now. I have loved you for 2 years and ever since the day I first layed eyes on you I have yet to find someone as beautiful and wonderful as you. I understand if you dont feel the same as me.. Everyones intitled to there own feelings and I respect that. I cant help but feel likt this is all because of your past life.. Not being able to handle commited relationships and getting "too" close to someone.. I though we got you through that.. I thought it was different. I thought you grew up and got over it. I thought you loved me and we comfotable being with me forever. I obviously thought wrong. I want to kill myself because I'm not right for you. I hate that I feel like for the past 10 months you had a wasted life and couldnt stand it. I'm sorry I ever tied you down.. Your free now.. Just not happy.. but you werent with me so what difference does it make... none... I hope you find someone who truely makes you happy and makes you feel free as can be.. I'm not that person.. I love you and see you in heven..