dont care anymore.
do you ever just have a day in school, were you spend every second gazing out the window into the faroff distance, wishing maybe even praying you were anybody but yourself? Every word escapes your teachers mouth and begins to blur as it touches the cold icy air of the school classroom. Things start to become slower and as you glance across the classroom of many loved and well, hated faces, you seem to wonder why do you even care anymore?
what if everything you ever been taught and everything you have believed to be true turns out to be wrong. what if all the minor letdowns are more than you can bear? and when people say itll get better and you actually for a second start to believe them and get your hopes up that things might turn out better, things shoot down faster and more violently than a plane crash.
what if youre sick of being you and sick of doing things the way theyve always been done? you try to change, but everything day by day just seems to fall apart. what if you just cant care anymore, because you care so much it tears you apart to see everything crumble like it does, so the only option left is to try not to care.
what if you see one of your best friends every day that completely hates you now and ignores you? as you walk by them they look right through you as if you dont even exist, as if youre a ghost, not even a real person, with feelings or emotions or anything at all. your name is forever lost in a sea of broken memories to them, and all you can do is look them back with the same eyes that once looked at them as a loving caring friend and smile.
i dont understand life. i know were here for a reason, and weve all got things we can contribute, and were all here to seek out our dreams and visions and turn them into something great. but what if your life "mission" was just to be here and then gone? i try so hard to make myself happy but it seems like a more difficult task by the day. i guess theres something wrong, and ill pray for the day the doctors finally tell me there is. so i can blame it on something other than my imagination being wild as hell, and making my mind manipulate me so badly.
i hate this. it should just end.
what if everything you ever been taught and everything you have believed to be true turns out to be wrong. what if all the minor letdowns are more than you can bear? and when people say itll get better and you actually for a second start to believe them and get your hopes up that things might turn out better, things shoot down faster and more violently than a plane crash.
what if youre sick of being you and sick of doing things the way theyve always been done? you try to change, but everything day by day just seems to fall apart. what if you just cant care anymore, because you care so much it tears you apart to see everything crumble like it does, so the only option left is to try not to care.
what if you see one of your best friends every day that completely hates you now and ignores you? as you walk by them they look right through you as if you dont even exist, as if youre a ghost, not even a real person, with feelings or emotions or anything at all. your name is forever lost in a sea of broken memories to them, and all you can do is look them back with the same eyes that once looked at them as a loving caring friend and smile.
i dont understand life. i know were here for a reason, and weve all got things we can contribute, and were all here to seek out our dreams and visions and turn them into something great. but what if your life "mission" was just to be here and then gone? i try so hard to make myself happy but it seems like a more difficult task by the day. i guess theres something wrong, and ill pray for the day the doctors finally tell me there is. so i can blame it on something other than my imagination being wild as hell, and making my mind manipulate me so badly.
i hate this. it should just end.