(no subject)
{inhale}
tears begin to flood my face like a cup left under a
running faucet weel after the water has reached the rim,
my heart leaping to my throat,
getting caught,
squeezing,
twisting,
tearing.
my throat contracting around the emotions that threaten
to leap up & out of my lips,
my stomach
rumbling,
wrestling,
knotting.
my hands quiver as i reach up to blot the tiny teardrops,
leaving footprints down my cheeks.
the path that awaits me
suddenly seems like a pilgrimage,
one foot,
nest foot,
step,
step,
i see you.
{i see her}
you smile.
i smile.
{she leaves}
you ask how i am.
(i lie}
i reply that im fine
{even thoughmy heart has just crept up into my mouth &
is jumping up & down on my tounge like an olympic
diver waiting to hit the water}
i want to say that i miss you,
let you know that every moment im awake i think of you.
i want you to know that i miss youre arms,
your smile,
your lips.
i want you to know that
{im imcomplete}
my body hurts,
my soul bleeds.
i ask how you are
{hoping agains all hope that youll tell me what i want to hear}
your reply,
{your answer not including that you miss me,
that you miss my arms, my lips, my touch).
my eyes attempt to strip you down to your aouls
{searching for what i once knew so well).
they get lost,
{but they find their way back to reality when
they graze over the [ever fading] hickey, just above
the collar of the shirt she bought you}.
my hearts leaps off the end of my tounge,
wanting you to see the way you've hurt me
wanting you to hurt the same way.
it falls to the ground
{she calls you}
you hastily say good-bye,
{as you trot over to her}
stomping,
squishing ,
mutilating
my vulnerable, fallen heart.
{not even pausing long enough to scrape it off the bottom
of your shoe, like a discarded piece of gum.)
she wraps her arms around your neck,
brings her lips to yours...
{your ears turn red.}
people pass, as if i dont even exist.
{i want to cry, scream, shout.}
i want someone to find my heart,
bring it back,
piece it together.
i turn away,
hoping that one day i will again be able to call you
and have you come over to me,
be able to buy you shirts that match your eyes,
{abnd leave the telltale hickey just above the collar}
and will still be able to make your ears turn red from the
friction of our lips.
i walk away,
knowing my heart will not follow.
{exhale.}
tears begin to flood my face like a cup left under a
running faucet weel after the water has reached the rim,
my heart leaping to my throat,
getting caught,
squeezing,
twisting,
tearing.
my throat contracting around the emotions that threaten
to leap up & out of my lips,
my stomach
rumbling,
wrestling,
knotting.
my hands quiver as i reach up to blot the tiny teardrops,
leaving footprints down my cheeks.
the path that awaits me
suddenly seems like a pilgrimage,
one foot,
nest foot,
step,
step,
i see you.
{i see her}
you smile.
i smile.
{she leaves}
you ask how i am.
(i lie}
i reply that im fine
{even thoughmy heart has just crept up into my mouth &
is jumping up & down on my tounge like an olympic
diver waiting to hit the water}
i want to say that i miss you,
let you know that every moment im awake i think of you.
i want you to know that i miss youre arms,
your smile,
your lips.
i want you to know that
{im imcomplete}
my body hurts,
my soul bleeds.
i ask how you are
{hoping agains all hope that youll tell me what i want to hear}
your reply,
{your answer not including that you miss me,
that you miss my arms, my lips, my touch).
my eyes attempt to strip you down to your aouls
{searching for what i once knew so well).
they get lost,
{but they find their way back to reality when
they graze over the [ever fading] hickey, just above
the collar of the shirt she bought you}.
my hearts leaps off the end of my tounge,
wanting you to see the way you've hurt me
wanting you to hurt the same way.
it falls to the ground
{she calls you}
you hastily say good-bye,
{as you trot over to her}
stomping,
squishing ,
mutilating
my vulnerable, fallen heart.
{not even pausing long enough to scrape it off the bottom
of your shoe, like a discarded piece of gum.)
she wraps her arms around your neck,
brings her lips to yours...
{your ears turn red.}
people pass, as if i dont even exist.
{i want to cry, scream, shout.}
i want someone to find my heart,
bring it back,
piece it together.
i turn away,
hoping that one day i will again be able to call you
and have you come over to me,
be able to buy you shirts that match your eyes,
{abnd leave the telltale hickey just above the collar}
and will still be able to make your ears turn red from the
friction of our lips.
i walk away,
knowing my heart will not follow.
{exhale.}