Hmm...
some crazy shit's happened lately...
i don't really wanna talk to anyone about any of it... *shrug* i told a couple close ppl. other than that? *shakes head* i'm keepin it to myself.
ooh! confronted peach. twas lovely. and when she was talkin bout why she didn't like me? all i could do was shake my head. you see, she was talkin bout the 'novels' i wrote katie, 'n it got a lil much, right? well first of all, those notes weren't for her or anyone else to be readin. secondly, i had a crush. and a lot to say to her. she told me i could write as much as i like. so i did. *shrug* kind of an odd reason not to like someone. i think its jus an excuse. i never said anything wrong. i jus wanted katie happy. i also wanted to be with her alot... A LOT. *sigh* i'm different now though. i wouldn't write hardly ever. and well... i jus don't have a whole lot of hope for the two of us. still want her. but it doesn't mean anythin. i don't really mean anythin.
therez the jimmy thing... one of the things i don't wanna talk too much about... i'm dealing. i can handle it.
christmas went... almost fairly swimmingly... my aunt is being ganged up on by my whole family 'n they wanna put her in an institution where she can't check herself out. itz the whole pills thing. she was fine for a while. but i guess it's gotten worse and since she had that seizure... itz all been kinda jus spiraling? *nods* yea... and ppl wonder why i hate taking pills. my mom told everyone about how i was crying after i got my surgery... cuz i refused to take pills and once i started taking them, they weren't doing much... and i didn't wanna take more... 'n she told em why. and they all looked at me like, "is that true?" *huff* i bet you my aunt was up on the stairs listening the whole time. knowing her she prolly took more pills to get rid of the anxiety from it all. they don't understand..... i don't even understand. and thats not really like me. most of what my aunt has gone thru has been in her head. but it's real to her. the need is real. shez had so much medz that her body is now addicted as well as her mind's dependency on it. i don't think she even realizes what's going on. she always has this dumb look on her face.... i love her to bitz ... but she does get on my nerves... and my worries.
lol it was ridiculous... last night... the lamp she gave me... i kept openin my eyes and i could've sworn that it moved... the chuckie lamp...! agh and my mom was all like, "i am chuckie, here to kill you, in your sleep now, so hold still while i stab you in your bed, tooo nighhtt" u know with the tune "tip toe, thru the tulips.." ect? lol. so i had that in my head. and it was like, 5 o clock in the mornin.... lol omg i knew it wasn't alive but jus... i couldn't look at it anymore. i've been unable to sleep with my back towards it since i got it. hahaha. itz so sad 'n pitiful..! so i took it and i stuffed it in my mom's closet. lol...*blush* im so pathetic...
and i had a dream i was a man... like... i was me and then i took a potion, right? all of a sudden i was this really hott dude 'n chicks were checkin me out like crazy. 'n guess wot?! i was tall! woohoo! haha... 'n then i didn't wanna be a man anymore, so i tried to turn back. and it went all wrong 'n i was all icky looking. i looked like one of the guys in White Chicks when they have to pretend to be those rich girls. haha. ughh eww. then i beat up this chick, i don't really know her well but she goes to my old school 'n shez a mean evil bitch. she had some crazy speed power 'n she was tryin to do circles 'n hit me, catch me off-gaurd. but i was too good. lol. i jus grabbed her arms 'n twisted her around like i do with my brother when hez bein too rough. i had another dream but i can't remember it enough to make a clear story.
aii. gonna go now. thatz enough. laytah.
i don't really wanna talk to anyone about any of it... *shrug* i told a couple close ppl. other than that? *shakes head* i'm keepin it to myself.
ooh! confronted peach. twas lovely. and when she was talkin bout why she didn't like me? all i could do was shake my head. you see, she was talkin bout the 'novels' i wrote katie, 'n it got a lil much, right? well first of all, those notes weren't for her or anyone else to be readin. secondly, i had a crush. and a lot to say to her. she told me i could write as much as i like. so i did. *shrug* kind of an odd reason not to like someone. i think its jus an excuse. i never said anything wrong. i jus wanted katie happy. i also wanted to be with her alot... A LOT. *sigh* i'm different now though. i wouldn't write hardly ever. and well... i jus don't have a whole lot of hope for the two of us. still want her. but it doesn't mean anythin. i don't really mean anythin.
therez the jimmy thing... one of the things i don't wanna talk too much about... i'm dealing. i can handle it.
christmas went... almost fairly swimmingly... my aunt is being ganged up on by my whole family 'n they wanna put her in an institution where she can't check herself out. itz the whole pills thing. she was fine for a while. but i guess it's gotten worse and since she had that seizure... itz all been kinda jus spiraling? *nods* yea... and ppl wonder why i hate taking pills. my mom told everyone about how i was crying after i got my surgery... cuz i refused to take pills and once i started taking them, they weren't doing much... and i didn't wanna take more... 'n she told em why. and they all looked at me like, "is that true?" *huff* i bet you my aunt was up on the stairs listening the whole time. knowing her she prolly took more pills to get rid of the anxiety from it all. they don't understand..... i don't even understand. and thats not really like me. most of what my aunt has gone thru has been in her head. but it's real to her. the need is real. shez had so much medz that her body is now addicted as well as her mind's dependency on it. i don't think she even realizes what's going on. she always has this dumb look on her face.... i love her to bitz ... but she does get on my nerves... and my worries.
lol it was ridiculous... last night... the lamp she gave me... i kept openin my eyes and i could've sworn that it moved... the chuckie lamp...! agh and my mom was all like, "i am chuckie, here to kill you, in your sleep now, so hold still while i stab you in your bed, tooo nighhtt" u know with the tune "tip toe, thru the tulips.." ect? lol. so i had that in my head. and it was like, 5 o clock in the mornin.... lol omg i knew it wasn't alive but jus... i couldn't look at it anymore. i've been unable to sleep with my back towards it since i got it. hahaha. itz so sad 'n pitiful..! so i took it and i stuffed it in my mom's closet. lol...*blush* im so pathetic...
and i had a dream i was a man... like... i was me and then i took a potion, right? all of a sudden i was this really hott dude 'n chicks were checkin me out like crazy. 'n guess wot?! i was tall! woohoo! haha... 'n then i didn't wanna be a man anymore, so i tried to turn back. and it went all wrong 'n i was all icky looking. i looked like one of the guys in White Chicks when they have to pretend to be those rich girls. haha. ughh eww. then i beat up this chick, i don't really know her well but she goes to my old school 'n shez a mean evil bitch. she had some crazy speed power 'n she was tryin to do circles 'n hit me, catch me off-gaurd. but i was too good. lol. i jus grabbed her arms 'n twisted her around like i do with my brother when hez bein too rough. i had another dream but i can't remember it enough to make a clear story.
aii. gonna go now. thatz enough. laytah.