oh LOOK. FACTS in support of my THING.
(fine. opinions, possibly not facts. BUT STILL!) article text for the click-averse: That David Mitchell look
"I've recently found myself thinking a lot about David Mitchell, as, apparently, have most of Britain's female population. These two facts are connected: he seems to drive every woman I know cross-eyed with lust, despite the fact that he claims to dress exclusively from M&S's Blue Harbour range.
I asked my friend Cate [Caitlin Moran] - who once responded to news that a mutual acquaintance was interviewing Mitchell with an email that read, in its entirety, "SCREAM!" - if Mitchell's appeal was linked to his clothes. I'd come to the right place. Her explanation went on and on, like Colonel Gaddafi addressing the UN. She drew diagrams. She had to be dissuaded from coming round with a flip chart and an overhead projector. His clothes suggest he's uptight and repressed, she said, leading ladies to believe they could "loosen him up". Furthermore, "He wouldn't be comparing you with some other, hotter chick from his past, because there are no other, hotter chicks from his past. His wardrobe tells you this at a glance." Cate then suggested various thought-provoking ways she might facilitate the aforementioned "loosening up". She drew diagrams of them as well.
Quite a bombshell, given that fashion sells itself to men based entirely on sexual attraction. The implication is that women actually prefer men to look terrible: forget that exquisitely cut suit, get some M&S slacks and your life will be one long orgy. That seems the improbable message. Breaking news: David Mitchell may have inadvertently, but single-handedly, killed fashion."
DIAGRAMS. ms moran, i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
ion: bah. it's after 3pm and i am in a fuzzy dressing gown and pjs. must... dress... and leave... house... today...
"I've recently found myself thinking a lot about David Mitchell, as, apparently, have most of Britain's female population. These two facts are connected: he seems to drive every woman I know cross-eyed with lust, despite the fact that he claims to dress exclusively from M&S's Blue Harbour range.
I asked my friend Cate [Caitlin Moran] - who once responded to news that a mutual acquaintance was interviewing Mitchell with an email that read, in its entirety, "SCREAM!" - if Mitchell's appeal was linked to his clothes. I'd come to the right place. Her explanation went on and on, like Colonel Gaddafi addressing the UN. She drew diagrams. She had to be dissuaded from coming round with a flip chart and an overhead projector. His clothes suggest he's uptight and repressed, she said, leading ladies to believe they could "loosen him up". Furthermore, "He wouldn't be comparing you with some other, hotter chick from his past, because there are no other, hotter chicks from his past. His wardrobe tells you this at a glance." Cate then suggested various thought-provoking ways she might facilitate the aforementioned "loosening up". She drew diagrams of them as well.
Quite a bombshell, given that fashion sells itself to men based entirely on sexual attraction. The implication is that women actually prefer men to look terrible: forget that exquisitely cut suit, get some M&S slacks and your life will be one long orgy. That seems the improbable message. Breaking news: David Mitchell may have inadvertently, but single-handedly, killed fashion."
DIAGRAMS. ms moran, i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
ion: bah. it's after 3pm and i am in a fuzzy dressing gown and pjs. must... dress... and leave... house... today...