[dr nick riviera]hi, everybody![/dr nick riviera*]
i have been mainly awol since thursday as my mother has been visiting. mothers are very tiring. she has now departed by ferry, this morning, after a detour to courthouse where i successfully persuaded them to let me defer my jury service until june. thank fuck!
( boring weekend stuff (entertaining female parent stressful: may have told the lesbians-in-the-lobby story after several glasses of wine. it seemed like a good idea at the time.) )
( boring weekend stuff (entertaining female parent stressful: may have told the lesbians-in-the-lobby story after several glasses of wine. it seemed like a good idea at the time.) )
ok then. hugh has been kidnapped by tori spelling. And chained to a fence. See, tori has a very very short attention span, and she saw a butterfly and drove off because she wanted a pair of shoes to go with the butterfly. So Hugh is there, cuffed to the fence, one cuff over each wrist, and he can't move. He can flail his legs a little, but that looks fucking ridiculous. He's pissed off.
Now Callum has this sixth sense that tells him when hugh's restrained in some way, which came in handy with that incident in Customs with the jam. So he hops into his car and drives to the fence where hugh's handcuffs, gets out of the car and realises he forgot to put on a shirt. So he's wearing jeans and biker boots, but no shirt. Funny how these things work out, huh? He looks at Hugh, skritches the back of his neck and frowns.
"You're, uh. Yeah. Tied up. This a private party, or can anyone join in?"
Hugh growls.
Callum shrugs, walks over and undoes Hugh's jeans. "Commando. Why do you keep buying boxers, anyway? It perplexes me."
Hugh counts to ten. He gets to four, when Callum kneels down and grasps his hips with both his hands. He loses count, starts over, gets to 56 before 7 and realises that Callum sucking his cock means he can't really do maths. Callum tries talking to him around his cock, but all that comes out is something muffled and french sounding. hugh figures it's probably about James Dean playing golf and goes back to whimpering. His shoulders fucking hurt.
Callum mutters something more, sticks one finger up hugh's ass and he's coming like a fucking rocket, nearly wrenching his arms in the process.
Callum undoes the cuffs with the spare keys he carries around since the incident at the embassy, pats Hugh on the head and wraps him in a blanket.
"Come on, let's go home. What am I going to do with you, if you keep on getting yourself ied up?" he asks with affectionate bemusement. Hugh shrugs and mutters something about butterflies.
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Okay, that's better. Much better. It has, you know, logic and stuff.
♥
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(For some strange reason, "It perplexes me." is my favorite line in the whole thing. ♥)
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this demands expansion!
(as does tori spelling: kidnappitrix)
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It was actually glow in the dark edible lube, which also had remarkable healing properties and could also be used as window putty and for mending tires. It was also a very powerful aphrodisiac, and, as hugh discovered whn he was asked to taste a sample of it, hallucinogenic. Things...ended interestingly.
(tori spelling kidnaps people for fun, and has an assassination business she runs alongside the bed and breakfast. She's a shit kidnapper and a worse assassin. But it keeps her away from acting)
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actually, I might have been traumatised. Or become a mathematical genius
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