Use me as you will, pull my strings just for a thrill ;;
Okay, so the kid I fell for is Tad. And we've been dating since August 25th. Not too long, but long enough. This kid makes me so incredibly happy, seriously, I can't help but smile when I'm with him. It's so complex, even I don't understand it, but whatever it is, I like it. A lot. He's been a part of my life since I was in about 4th grade, and he's going to continue being a big part of my life for a long time. I can feel it. You know how sometimes you get that feeling in your gut and heart that tells you "Good job, you were right this time, you're making yourself happy and you're doing a good job at doing what you're supposed to do. You've got yourself on the right track, keep up the good work". That's how I feel right now. I have a gorgeous boyfriend who treats me like gold, I have an amazing best friend (Nicole) who loves me for who I am, I'm doing well in school so far, I have a nice job with decent pay, I'm working a lot of hours... in short, I'm doing damn good for myself. And to be honest ;; I'm proud of myself. I've never been this driven, ever. But it feels good to know what I want and to be striving to get everything I've wanted and needed for the past I don't know how long. I just feel like I've accomplished so much in so little time... I mean, things have been working out great for the past week. I hope things continue working out so well. I'm supposed to work 9-5 tomorrow, but when I go in I'm going to ask my boss if I can get out at 1, because I haven't seen Tad in 2 days aside from tonight and I really want to spend time with him. I missed him a lot. Things just weren't the same without him around... I felt different, empty. Sort of depressed, I guess. All I could think about was him and where he was and what he was doing and if he was okay and how to get ahold of him... and I finally got ahold of him tonight, around 9:00. He came over around 9:30 and stayed till about 11:30. We just layed on my bed and talked and talked and talked. He told me things that summed up to pretty much "I'd die without you". And that right there, that's what made me so happy tonight. That's what keeps me going these days. Hearing his voice, seeing his face light up whenever he sees me, being in his arms, feeling his touch... I can't get enough of it. I'm glad that I finally got what I wanted out of life. But anyway, I'm going to head off to bed. It's 12:10 AM and I have to work in the morning. I might write again tomorrow night when I get home from Tad's house, but then again, who knows. If not, sometime within the next week I will. I promise =]
♥ Courtney
♥ Courtney