annie
this is my memoir that i wrote on annie... so much of it is bs-ed but i really do miss her... haha if you want to read the one on me go to [thupargirl]'s livejournal
It was a warm day in the summer of 1997 and I entered the room with my mom at hand and looked around. The structure of the house was almost exactly like the one we had just purchased but the interior was so different from ours. Where, in our house, stood a play pen, there was a glass table. Where there was a stain on the carpet from a glass of grape juice I spilled all over the carpet a few days ago, there was nothing. The house was so clean and so... perfect. I can even say now that I was a bit intimidated.
A lady entered the room followed by a girl that looked around my age. The girl had long wispy hair and a pale complexion. She sent me a faint smile and I gave her a weak smile of my own. She had a nice smile but I could tell she had recently lost one of her two front teeth. Through her smile I could also see that I wasn’t the only one feeling awkward about the whole situation. While the lady, who turned out to be her mom, talked to my mother; I took the time to see what the girl looked like so I could tell my daddy about her later. She was wearing a pressed pink and white Hello Kitty dress and had a headband that made me immediately jealous of her. We kept shooting nervous smiles at each other until our mothers finally remembered us and told us to go up to her room and get acquainted. She silently led me up to her room and when I got in I was astounded at how neat she kept her room. The stuffed animals were lined up row after row on her shelves and her bed was made so that it looked flawless. Her room amazed me and reminded me of a palace a princess would live in. I noticed she was still staring at me so I said, “Wow, you have a pretty room.” and she said, “Thank you.” Once again it was silent and very uncomfortable. Then I tripped on her stuffed animal jaguar and burst into giggles. It was very contagious and soon both of us were giggling in hysterics. When we finally caught our breathes and started talking in nonchalant tones about things that caught our minds. She invited me to sit up on her bed and talk with her and so I did. We giggled and laughed about stupid jokes I made and soon all the tension and formality dropped to a level where we felt like we’d known each other for years. While we were talking I couldn’t help but notice how bouncy her bed seemed to be and finally I worked up my courage to ask her if we could jump on it even though I knew my mother probably wouldn’t have approved of the behavior. To my amazement she said yes and so my first experience with this girl that later turned out to become my best friend was spending an afternoon doing things that amused us that we’ve now outgrown because both of us have grown older and matured. That day was probably one of the best days in my childhood. We bonded in a way that only childhood could let you bond and at the time I hoped that we could stay best friends for the rest of our lives but I later learned that wasn’t possible for us.
For a few years we lost contact and drifted apart. She went to a different school while I stayed at the school in which I met so many of the friends I loved. Then one day it all came to an end. My mom told me that some lady named Sharon Jones was going to close down my beloved Linda Vista and I would have to go to Weibel. I cried and begged my mom to let me stay but she told me it couldn’t happen. I felt my life flash before my eyes. All the years at Linda Vista in which I made so many people that loved me, so many teachers that I loved, so many friends, and the people that truly cared for me and now I would have to leave it all? I felt so depressed... and so the summer passed quickly and I started school at Weibel. To me it felt like adults were trying to ruin my life and send me alone to live in a foreign country but imagine my surprise when I got to Weibel on the first day and saw so many of my friends. One that caught my eye immediately was Annie. I ran over to her, happy to see that one familiar face that had made my heart shine with hope so many times, and gave her a big hug. She looked surprised and croaked out, “Jennifer? Is that really you?” We were so happy and Weibel turned out to be a wonderful school for me. But Annie seemed to have changed, or maybe it was just me that changed. I was this loud, always happy, and very dramatic girl that loved to cause a stir wherever I went and she was more quiet but we still considered each other as best friends. I hated seeing her unhappy, I hated seeing anyone unhappy. One day, during recess, I was about to go play with my other friends when I saw Annie sitting on the bench with a dejected look on her face. She told me that she had received a bad grade on the math test and I knew how much her grades meant to her so that day I went out and purchased her a bunch of flowers that I thought she would like. When I handed them to her the next day she was so happy and that made my heart joyful because making people happy was the only attribute I loved about myself. Sadly, that was probably one of the last times I really made her happy. In the next few years of my life, we slowly found new people to support us and it hurt me. I watched her grow apart from me and I tried to hold on to her... but it felt like I was trying to keep water from trickling out between my hands. Bit by bit we lost our bond and now I don’t even know if we still consider each other as ‘friends’. In sixth grade, all of us went to science camp together and on the last day there everyone at science camp got together and sang. One of the songs I remembered we sang went like this, “I’ve been wishing on a shooting star, that somewhere down the road, after all our stories have been told, I’d sit and think of you, a dear friend I once knew, shot through my life like a shooting star...” When the song ended everyone was quiet for a while and all around me, people’s eyes were tearing up, I looked over at Annie and she looked over at me. At that moment, something in me just gave away and all the emotions I held in came out. When we walked together back to camp it was silently and both of us lost in our own thoughts. I wanted that moment to last forever, just me and her walking together under the stars and even though this doesn’t seem like much to anyone else, I really treasure this moment with her...
These few days have been the worst of my life. Annie and I got into another fight and this time I don’t think we’re going to make up again. We’ve been through these fights over and over again. Every time this happens, I feel like my heart’s about to break in two. I can still remember the matching necklaces I bought for us when we were in sixth grade. How I miss the moments in which our souls seemed to reach out to each other and truly touch. Lots of times I wish I could go back in time to erase whatever mistakes that blemish our friendship but I know it isn’t possible. The last memory and possibly most treasured one is the day in which I handed her the matching necklaces. We had just came out of a party and both of us laid on the lawn, stargazing. I remembered the necklaces and shyly brought them out from my pocket. I said, “One’s for you and one’s for me... I know there isn’t a big chance of us staying best friends till the end but I really... truly... hope it happens. I really hope we’re the one in a million that stay friends for the rest of our lives.” She looked at me and smiled as if she understood, and at that time, I think she truly did. We spent another hour just laying quietly side to side staring up at the stars and I made a wish in my heart, “Dear God, if you could grant me the wish of keeping Annie happy then I’ll be happy.” Maybe my wish did come true, I guess I’ll never truly find out because from there, we grew apart.
Now that I think back on the memories of my childhood. There’s always an ache in my heart and I know what it’s from. The wish I made to God that night maybe did come true. Maybe, staying friends with me wasn’t making Annie happy but whatever the reason was our friendship collapsed. Now we agreed to be friends but im not quite sure if we truly are. I miss those eight hour long phone calls with her in where we talked into the night about everything, I miss the days when I would just go to her house and we’d enjoy ourselves just being us, I miss so many things with her... My heart feels like a glass ball... every time Annie and I get into a fight... my heart shatters and when we make up again, the pieces then come in place but one is always missing. We’ve fought so many times that I don’t think my heart can ever be quiet ‘full’ again. But maybe this is for the best. Annie made a big difference in my life, she was someone that was always there for me, someone that I could always trust, and someone that cherished me as much I cherished them. When I think back to the second grade memories and I remember the good times we had, I miss them but maybe it’s for the best and maybe it’s time that we both just moved on...
It was a warm day in the summer of 1997 and I entered the room with my mom at hand and looked around. The structure of the house was almost exactly like the one we had just purchased but the interior was so different from ours. Where, in our house, stood a play pen, there was a glass table. Where there was a stain on the carpet from a glass of grape juice I spilled all over the carpet a few days ago, there was nothing. The house was so clean and so... perfect. I can even say now that I was a bit intimidated.
A lady entered the room followed by a girl that looked around my age. The girl had long wispy hair and a pale complexion. She sent me a faint smile and I gave her a weak smile of my own. She had a nice smile but I could tell she had recently lost one of her two front teeth. Through her smile I could also see that I wasn’t the only one feeling awkward about the whole situation. While the lady, who turned out to be her mom, talked to my mother; I took the time to see what the girl looked like so I could tell my daddy about her later. She was wearing a pressed pink and white Hello Kitty dress and had a headband that made me immediately jealous of her. We kept shooting nervous smiles at each other until our mothers finally remembered us and told us to go up to her room and get acquainted. She silently led me up to her room and when I got in I was astounded at how neat she kept her room. The stuffed animals were lined up row after row on her shelves and her bed was made so that it looked flawless. Her room amazed me and reminded me of a palace a princess would live in. I noticed she was still staring at me so I said, “Wow, you have a pretty room.” and she said, “Thank you.” Once again it was silent and very uncomfortable. Then I tripped on her stuffed animal jaguar and burst into giggles. It was very contagious and soon both of us were giggling in hysterics. When we finally caught our breathes and started talking in nonchalant tones about things that caught our minds. She invited me to sit up on her bed and talk with her and so I did. We giggled and laughed about stupid jokes I made and soon all the tension and formality dropped to a level where we felt like we’d known each other for years. While we were talking I couldn’t help but notice how bouncy her bed seemed to be and finally I worked up my courage to ask her if we could jump on it even though I knew my mother probably wouldn’t have approved of the behavior. To my amazement she said yes and so my first experience with this girl that later turned out to become my best friend was spending an afternoon doing things that amused us that we’ve now outgrown because both of us have grown older and matured. That day was probably one of the best days in my childhood. We bonded in a way that only childhood could let you bond and at the time I hoped that we could stay best friends for the rest of our lives but I later learned that wasn’t possible for us.
For a few years we lost contact and drifted apart. She went to a different school while I stayed at the school in which I met so many of the friends I loved. Then one day it all came to an end. My mom told me that some lady named Sharon Jones was going to close down my beloved Linda Vista and I would have to go to Weibel. I cried and begged my mom to let me stay but she told me it couldn’t happen. I felt my life flash before my eyes. All the years at Linda Vista in which I made so many people that loved me, so many teachers that I loved, so many friends, and the people that truly cared for me and now I would have to leave it all? I felt so depressed... and so the summer passed quickly and I started school at Weibel. To me it felt like adults were trying to ruin my life and send me alone to live in a foreign country but imagine my surprise when I got to Weibel on the first day and saw so many of my friends. One that caught my eye immediately was Annie. I ran over to her, happy to see that one familiar face that had made my heart shine with hope so many times, and gave her a big hug. She looked surprised and croaked out, “Jennifer? Is that really you?” We were so happy and Weibel turned out to be a wonderful school for me. But Annie seemed to have changed, or maybe it was just me that changed. I was this loud, always happy, and very dramatic girl that loved to cause a stir wherever I went and she was more quiet but we still considered each other as best friends. I hated seeing her unhappy, I hated seeing anyone unhappy. One day, during recess, I was about to go play with my other friends when I saw Annie sitting on the bench with a dejected look on her face. She told me that she had received a bad grade on the math test and I knew how much her grades meant to her so that day I went out and purchased her a bunch of flowers that I thought she would like. When I handed them to her the next day she was so happy and that made my heart joyful because making people happy was the only attribute I loved about myself. Sadly, that was probably one of the last times I really made her happy. In the next few years of my life, we slowly found new people to support us and it hurt me. I watched her grow apart from me and I tried to hold on to her... but it felt like I was trying to keep water from trickling out between my hands. Bit by bit we lost our bond and now I don’t even know if we still consider each other as ‘friends’. In sixth grade, all of us went to science camp together and on the last day there everyone at science camp got together and sang. One of the songs I remembered we sang went like this, “I’ve been wishing on a shooting star, that somewhere down the road, after all our stories have been told, I’d sit and think of you, a dear friend I once knew, shot through my life like a shooting star...” When the song ended everyone was quiet for a while and all around me, people’s eyes were tearing up, I looked over at Annie and she looked over at me. At that moment, something in me just gave away and all the emotions I held in came out. When we walked together back to camp it was silently and both of us lost in our own thoughts. I wanted that moment to last forever, just me and her walking together under the stars and even though this doesn’t seem like much to anyone else, I really treasure this moment with her...
These few days have been the worst of my life. Annie and I got into another fight and this time I don’t think we’re going to make up again. We’ve been through these fights over and over again. Every time this happens, I feel like my heart’s about to break in two. I can still remember the matching necklaces I bought for us when we were in sixth grade. How I miss the moments in which our souls seemed to reach out to each other and truly touch. Lots of times I wish I could go back in time to erase whatever mistakes that blemish our friendship but I know it isn’t possible. The last memory and possibly most treasured one is the day in which I handed her the matching necklaces. We had just came out of a party and both of us laid on the lawn, stargazing. I remembered the necklaces and shyly brought them out from my pocket. I said, “One’s for you and one’s for me... I know there isn’t a big chance of us staying best friends till the end but I really... truly... hope it happens. I really hope we’re the one in a million that stay friends for the rest of our lives.” She looked at me and smiled as if she understood, and at that time, I think she truly did. We spent another hour just laying quietly side to side staring up at the stars and I made a wish in my heart, “Dear God, if you could grant me the wish of keeping Annie happy then I’ll be happy.” Maybe my wish did come true, I guess I’ll never truly find out because from there, we grew apart.
Now that I think back on the memories of my childhood. There’s always an ache in my heart and I know what it’s from. The wish I made to God that night maybe did come true. Maybe, staying friends with me wasn’t making Annie happy but whatever the reason was our friendship collapsed. Now we agreed to be friends but im not quite sure if we truly are. I miss those eight hour long phone calls with her in where we talked into the night about everything, I miss the days when I would just go to her house and we’d enjoy ourselves just being us, I miss so many things with her... My heart feels like a glass ball... every time Annie and I get into a fight... my heart shatters and when we make up again, the pieces then come in place but one is always missing. We’ve fought so many times that I don’t think my heart can ever be quiet ‘full’ again. But maybe this is for the best. Annie made a big difference in my life, she was someone that was always there for me, someone that I could always trust, and someone that cherished me as much I cherished them. When I think back to the second grade memories and I remember the good times we had, I miss them but maybe it’s for the best and maybe it’s time that we both just moved on...