You Didn't Have To Cut Me Off...
I'm used to do it.
I take that back...
I used to love it.
The hunt, the games, the looks, the confusion, the final win.
I was very good at fuck-buddy....
and now I'm alive with the glory of commitment.
I have no problem with this. My life with him is the best thing I've ever had. I'm happy waking up next to him, living with him, loving him.
It's just...the itch. The itch that that you can't quite reach. The itch that burns no more than half an inch from the edge of your finger nails. I hate that inconvenient itch. I know I can't scratch it and yet..if I could...it would be satisfying. Those people I don't talk to anymore. Those people that I used to know...and see naked. I never thought of myself as someone that could maintain monogamy when I was younger, and now I feel that a part of my maturity is my commitment to this man. And yes, not being that old just furthers the insult.
I was happy in the lifestyle I used to follow. I'm happy in the lifestyle I follow now. But dear god I think about it. I've even started dreaming about it. Old faces coming up in my sleep. I miss those days...but I love the love I have now. The mystery might be gone, but my imagination never stops and I'll always have the know that I can come home to my home...something I wouldn't change for all the lust in the world.
I take that back...
I used to love it.
The hunt, the games, the looks, the confusion, the final win.
I was very good at fuck-buddy....
and now I'm alive with the glory of commitment.
I have no problem with this. My life with him is the best thing I've ever had. I'm happy waking up next to him, living with him, loving him.
It's just...the itch. The itch that that you can't quite reach. The itch that burns no more than half an inch from the edge of your finger nails. I hate that inconvenient itch. I know I can't scratch it and yet..if I could...it would be satisfying. Those people I don't talk to anymore. Those people that I used to know...and see naked. I never thought of myself as someone that could maintain monogamy when I was younger, and now I feel that a part of my maturity is my commitment to this man. And yes, not being that old just furthers the insult.
I was happy in the lifestyle I used to follow. I'm happy in the lifestyle I follow now. But dear god I think about it. I've even started dreaming about it. Old faces coming up in my sleep. I miss those days...but I love the love I have now. The mystery might be gone, but my imagination never stops and I'll always have the know that I can come home to my home...something I wouldn't change for all the lust in the world.