Love all the people
Yap, this new Bill Hicks book is absouloutly A-mense, so to speak. I've now realised though that I have everything there is to own that he produced or wrote :(
gutted.
So I thought I'd commemorate this by posting some of the stuff that made me laugh.
"If you're so pro-life, do me a favour - dont lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries... I want to see pro-lifers at funerals, opening caskets - Get Out!"
"It was interesting to note Australians celebrate Easter the same way we do - commeorating the death and ressurections of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit... left chocolate eggs in the night"
"The worst kind of non-smokers is the kind who walk up to you when your smoking and cough affectedly, I always say shit, your lucky you dont smoke, thats a hell of a cough you've got there"
"If you believe drugs dont do anything good, do me a favour, go home tonight, take all albums and tapes, ok?, and burn 'em. Cos you know what, the musicians who made all that great music... reeeeal fucking high on drugs. Shit, the beatles were so high they let Ringo sing a couple of tunes"
"Well, lets say for a fact we know Rock'n'Roll is the devils music. At least we know he fucking jams! If I had a choice between eternal hell and good tunes, or New kids on the fucking block... I'm gonna be surfing on the lake of fire"
"The ultimate TV commercial. Heres a womens face, beautiful. Camera pulls back. Naked breast. Camera pulls back, shes totally naked, legs apart, two fingers here and it just says Drink Coke. Now I dont know the fucking connections, but im drinking lots of fucking coke!"
"We always kill the guys who try to help us. John Lennon, murdered. John Kennedy, murdered. Martin Luther King, murdered. Ghandi, murdered. Jesus, murdered. Reagan..... wounded"
"Two packs? Pussy, I go through two lighters a day"
"every ciggarette pack has a different warning - mine say: Warning smoking may cause feotal injury, or premature birth. Fuck it, found my brand"
"Guess the most amazing thing about the Iraq war was the disparity in casualties. Iraq, one hundred and fifty thousand, we had ..... seventy nine. Does that mean if we had sent over 80 men we would have won this thing?"
"Do these army commercials even need to be aired anymore? Were the army and were looking for a few good... fuck it... we got enough good men"
"The media kept talking about the ELITE republican guard. You know the ELITE republican guard. These guys were like the bogeymen of the war, the first couple of months. Well were doing good now, but were yet to face the ELITE republican guard. These guys were ten-feet tall, desert warriors, never lost a battle, we shit bullets. Well after two months of bombing and no response from these guys they became simply the republican guard. Not nearly as elite as we may have led you to believe. After another month, they went from the Elite republican guard, to the republican guard, to the Republicans made this shit up about there being guards in Iraq"
"People say Uh-huh Bill, Iraw has the 4th biggest army in the world. Yeh but let me tell you. After the first three theres a real big drop of. The Hare Krishnas are the fith largest army in the world"
gutted.
So I thought I'd commemorate this by posting some of the stuff that made me laugh.
"If you're so pro-life, do me a favour - dont lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries... I want to see pro-lifers at funerals, opening caskets - Get Out!"
"It was interesting to note Australians celebrate Easter the same way we do - commeorating the death and ressurections of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit... left chocolate eggs in the night"
"The worst kind of non-smokers is the kind who walk up to you when your smoking and cough affectedly, I always say shit, your lucky you dont smoke, thats a hell of a cough you've got there"
"If you believe drugs dont do anything good, do me a favour, go home tonight, take all albums and tapes, ok?, and burn 'em. Cos you know what, the musicians who made all that great music... reeeeal fucking high on drugs. Shit, the beatles were so high they let Ringo sing a couple of tunes"
"Well, lets say for a fact we know Rock'n'Roll is the devils music. At least we know he fucking jams! If I had a choice between eternal hell and good tunes, or New kids on the fucking block... I'm gonna be surfing on the lake of fire"
"The ultimate TV commercial. Heres a womens face, beautiful. Camera pulls back. Naked breast. Camera pulls back, shes totally naked, legs apart, two fingers here and it just says Drink Coke. Now I dont know the fucking connections, but im drinking lots of fucking coke!"
"We always kill the guys who try to help us. John Lennon, murdered. John Kennedy, murdered. Martin Luther King, murdered. Ghandi, murdered. Jesus, murdered. Reagan..... wounded"
"Two packs? Pussy, I go through two lighters a day"
"every ciggarette pack has a different warning - mine say: Warning smoking may cause feotal injury, or premature birth. Fuck it, found my brand"
"Guess the most amazing thing about the Iraq war was the disparity in casualties. Iraq, one hundred and fifty thousand, we had ..... seventy nine. Does that mean if we had sent over 80 men we would have won this thing?"
"Do these army commercials even need to be aired anymore? Were the army and were looking for a few good... fuck it... we got enough good men"
"The media kept talking about the ELITE republican guard. You know the ELITE republican guard. These guys were like the bogeymen of the war, the first couple of months. Well were doing good now, but were yet to face the ELITE republican guard. These guys were ten-feet tall, desert warriors, never lost a battle, we shit bullets. Well after two months of bombing and no response from these guys they became simply the republican guard. Not nearly as elite as we may have led you to believe. After another month, they went from the Elite republican guard, to the republican guard, to the Republicans made this shit up about there being guards in Iraq"
"People say Uh-huh Bill, Iraw has the 4th biggest army in the world. Yeh but let me tell you. After the first three theres a real big drop of. The Hare Krishnas are the fith largest army in the world"