whenever those dark clouds hide the moon
:: after this thread ::
*leaves gym, heading towards turbolift*
*resists the urge to go to Stephen, proceeding instead in direction of own quarters*
*gets inside, slumping, back against door*
*slides down to sit on the floor*
Damn.
What kind of friend am I? That I don't even know this is going on? How could we get so distant? Sure, there was shoreleave, but- this goes farther back than that. How could I not notice? Am I so oblivious that I don't see the changes in my friends? I get so wrapped up in what's going on in my life that I don't see what happens outside of that. The one friend I notice a change in- Malcolm- pushed me away. Maybe whatever I try to offer simply isn't good enough.
I want to go talk to him. Right now. I have no idea what I'd say, but I feel so helpless. Michael says he needs his space, and I want to give him that- no. No, I don't want to give him space- I want to be right there talking to him, I want things to be like old times where we could all sit around and it didn't matter what we talked about so much as we had each other to talk to. We could talk about anything, and always find something to laugh about.
Did I spend so much time laughing that I never saw beneath it? Is this something that's always been there, always been a part of him, and I was to stupid to notice? Or did it develop only recently- maybe even because we've all been so distant?
I hate this.
What kind of friend am I?
*leaves gym, heading towards turbolift*
*resists the urge to go to Stephen, proceeding instead in direction of own quarters*
*gets inside, slumping, back against door*
*slides down to sit on the floor*
Damn.
What kind of friend am I? That I don't even know this is going on? How could we get so distant? Sure, there was shoreleave, but- this goes farther back than that. How could I not notice? Am I so oblivious that I don't see the changes in my friends? I get so wrapped up in what's going on in my life that I don't see what happens outside of that. The one friend I notice a change in- Malcolm- pushed me away. Maybe whatever I try to offer simply isn't good enough.
I want to go talk to him. Right now. I have no idea what I'd say, but I feel so helpless. Michael says he needs his space, and I want to give him that- no. No, I don't want to give him space- I want to be right there talking to him, I want things to be like old times where we could all sit around and it didn't matter what we talked about so much as we had each other to talk to. We could talk about anything, and always find something to laugh about.
Did I spend so much time laughing that I never saw beneath it? Is this something that's always been there, always been a part of him, and I was to stupid to notice? Or did it develop only recently- maybe even because we've all been so distant?
I hate this.
What kind of friend am I?