(no subject)
its one of those days. one of those days when you just feel so incredibly lonely. like nothing could make you not feel lonely. its been raining all day. i did laundry at the laundromat. i watched as the rain dripped from the top of the window to the bottom. so much has happened. one of my friends got married to her boyfriend of almost a decade. one of my friends was diagnosed with cancer. one of my friends got engaged. one of my friends died. nothing feels like its fallen into place. nothing feels okay anymore after it. i feel guilty for laughing. i feel guilty for anything i do. sometimes its just too much. sometimes i just wonder. what happened to us? when did we grow up? when did everything change? why so i still feel like im standing still and everything around me is different. sometimes you just want so bad for someone to love you. the more you want it, the less you deserve it i guess.