(no subject)
.. i have alot of stuff on my mind... juss thinking of stuff...
ya know i'm geting really use to being alone now..... i mean i get home from school dads leaving to go to work stay here alone for a couple of hours n mom comes home n then talks on the phone while i'm up here n then takes a bath n goes to sleep n i hardly ever see tasha anymore... and its like its juss me.... my sister is my best friend i love hermore than anything Anything more than life itself.. n it kills me that shes finaly foundsome1 that makes her happy n now its likei dun want her to b happy b.c now shes gone from me.... I feel like i could jus hurt him for takeing her away... but i know shes happy with him.... maybe i'm juss a bitch but i dunno... when i do spend time with her we're at kevins house n he is always all over her n that juss makes me uncomfortable... so today i went over there we got sum food n went to kevins of coarse but he wasnt there yet so when he was on his way i got her to take me home.... its sad also when u start geting use to not being around ur sister u start to feel a lil odd around her... ya know like when ur sooo close n u have been for all ur lif n then suddonly its juss taken away so fast n ur juss like BLANK b.c u dun know what to think n then everything starts changing... but anyway not only this i have alot of presure from my parents bitching at me all the time bout doing good in school.. i'm trying now i am and i'm bring stuff like homeowkr to do n yet they dont think thats good enough... dont get me wrong these past days i have been happier than ever for sum reason n its great till i start thinking bout the unhappy things in my life.. i dont even know what to think anymore i'm chaning inside and i can feel it but i feel i'm chaning for the better... i actually like going to school now n i dont sleep in my classes i'm AWAKE for once in my life.. i actually wanna try to pass at something in my life instead of failing all the time... i juss hear all the complaints from my parents do i do wrong all the time i mean i do agree i get in alot of trouble n everything but i'm better...i am.... i'm not makeing any sence right now but thats okay rght... yeah....but yeah back to the happy things my dad and i r starting back paintballing starting this week-end so yay for that! n i'm trying to get my dad to buy me a new digital camera i want sooo bad lol b.c th eone i have is to big! n i am suppost to b geting a new bed a bigger bed!! yay! lol and my baby TinkerBell is growing up she likes to bite alot when she gives u kisses.. lol... n she LOVES to trash my room when i'm at school so i can come home n pick it up lol but i love her! n i love my buffy more than anything shes always been a great part of my life n my mom (well sadness starting comen in) the doc says it buffy dont get better they will have to put her to sleep... n if shes gone i dont know what ima do... i've had her since she was a baby n i was like got knows how old i think i was 9 years old and i am now 16.. so thats gunna b really hard n if that does happen a part of me is going to b gone... i love my buffers...lol but yeah i'm juss trying to get my life together n to b happy try to b happy atleast.. lol and trying to get un sick hah but also i think ima start doin my hair curly again since everyone likes it better for sum reason n my hair is naturaly curly so maybe it should stay curly! :-) so yeah! i cant think of anything else to say b.c u people prob think i'm crazy or something but i dont care... :-) sooo i think ima head out for now n i will update later MAYBE... much love!
~..*Crissy*..~
ya know i'm geting really use to being alone now..... i mean i get home from school dads leaving to go to work stay here alone for a couple of hours n mom comes home n then talks on the phone while i'm up here n then takes a bath n goes to sleep n i hardly ever see tasha anymore... and its like its juss me.... my sister is my best friend i love hermore than anything Anything more than life itself.. n it kills me that shes finaly foundsome1 that makes her happy n now its likei dun want her to b happy b.c now shes gone from me.... I feel like i could jus hurt him for takeing her away... but i know shes happy with him.... maybe i'm juss a bitch but i dunno... when i do spend time with her we're at kevins house n he is always all over her n that juss makes me uncomfortable... so today i went over there we got sum food n went to kevins of coarse but he wasnt there yet so when he was on his way i got her to take me home.... its sad also when u start geting use to not being around ur sister u start to feel a lil odd around her... ya know like when ur sooo close n u have been for all ur lif n then suddonly its juss taken away so fast n ur juss like BLANK b.c u dun know what to think n then everything starts changing... but anyway not only this i have alot of presure from my parents bitching at me all the time bout doing good in school.. i'm trying now i am and i'm bring stuff like homeowkr to do n yet they dont think thats good enough... dont get me wrong these past days i have been happier than ever for sum reason n its great till i start thinking bout the unhappy things in my life.. i dont even know what to think anymore i'm chaning inside and i can feel it but i feel i'm chaning for the better... i actually like going to school now n i dont sleep in my classes i'm AWAKE for once in my life.. i actually wanna try to pass at something in my life instead of failing all the time... i juss hear all the complaints from my parents do i do wrong all the time i mean i do agree i get in alot of trouble n everything but i'm better...i am.... i'm not makeing any sence right now but thats okay rght... yeah....but yeah back to the happy things my dad and i r starting back paintballing starting this week-end so yay for that! n i'm trying to get my dad to buy me a new digital camera i want sooo bad lol b.c th eone i have is to big! n i am suppost to b geting a new bed a bigger bed!! yay! lol and my baby TinkerBell is growing up she likes to bite alot when she gives u kisses.. lol... n she LOVES to trash my room when i'm at school so i can come home n pick it up lol but i love her! n i love my buffy more than anything shes always been a great part of my life n my mom (well sadness starting comen in) the doc says it buffy dont get better they will have to put her to sleep... n if shes gone i dont know what ima do... i've had her since she was a baby n i was like got knows how old i think i was 9 years old and i am now 16.. so thats gunna b really hard n if that does happen a part of me is going to b gone... i love my buffers...lol but yeah i'm juss trying to get my life together n to b happy try to b happy atleast.. lol and trying to get un sick hah but also i think ima start doin my hair curly again since everyone likes it better for sum reason n my hair is naturaly curly so maybe it should stay curly! :-) so yeah! i cant think of anything else to say b.c u people prob think i'm crazy or something but i dont care... :-) sooo i think ima head out for now n i will update later MAYBE... much love!
~..*Crissy*..~