..and I don't know how to get it back to good..

[_torn_apart_17]

Okay I am really sick and tired of not having a one and only 'confidant'. It really pisses me off. I need to spill some guts here. I have noone. I trust no one to that extreme. If I don't let this all out I don't know what I am going to do. I have so many emotions running through my head all day and night. I can't think about anything else. I hate having no one I can fully trust and tell everything to. It just fucking sucks. I want to trust people so bad but it's just not crackin' right now. I really need someone to fucking talk to and get advice and feedback from right about now because I'm going fucking insane and I don't even know what to do with myself lately. I'm so confused.
I just want to sit in a corner and cry all day and not be bothered.

It's funny how I have 3 different councelors that I see or can see.
Ms Jansen, Mr. Holloway, and my outside of school one too but I can't tell them much of anything at all.
it's not that I don't want to..it's just like I can't spill my guts to someone that I don't even know or actually want to talk to about my problems.

what the hell.

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid