and everytime I think I've finally made it I learn I'm farther away then I have ever been before..
wow. so it's only 3:04 right now and I'm already extremely pissed off. I'm so fucking sick of feeling this way. Everything is always just so fucking shitty and everytime I think I'm past all the bullshit it comes back and bites me in the ass.
School was a drag. I can't stress enough how useless and uninteresting it fucking is. I am so fucking sick of everything and everyone. Today was 'okay' until the end of the day. Barbie said she'd drive me home. I forgot my coat in Strevel's class so I ran back upstairs to get it and Mr. Strevel was starting to go down the stairs and I said I needed my coat and he said it's locked I'll have to wait. well Barbie's impatient and worthless and left without me because Mr. Strevel's a fucking piece and well I went to his room and it wasn't even locked so I wasted 5 minutes listening to him telling me to wait he locked the door n shit. WOW.
I knew she would leave without me but whatever.
So I was stranded at school with no ride. that was so very sweet I liked it a lot. not. then I called my mom because I had no ride home and she was like 'ive been puking all day i haven't even gotten out of bed what if I have an attack in the car' yeah all I got out of that was blah blah blah I'm a stupid whore. then I called my brother but he was fucking on Eureka so it'd take him like a half hour to come fucking pick me up but he said he would so props for that. but he didn't cz thank god Lauren Ragen gave me a lift.
I know I am probably completely over-reacting but one little thing will happen and I freak out because I don't know anything besides bad things happening to me or in my life.
and I'm so fucking exhausted because I stayed up online talking to Kevin and Devon until like 1.
and it was completely worthless because Kevin just left in the middle of our conversation and never came back because well it's Kevin. and I got absolutely nowhere with Devon either. I'm so sick of boys they just add more stress and anxiety to my fucked up life. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND. seriously wow.
and I also found out something about somebody that they did with somebody then hurt that somebody cz that's what they always do.
At least today I pushed out and faked a smile here and there.
at lunch I was really hyper and couldn't stop laughing. same with Earth science and math..
I really don't even know how I manage to do it anymore.
but hey it's cool to be fake and pretend everything is jim dandy. no one has to know right?
I feel like no one even really cares about me.
I FEEL SO ALONE ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
all people do is make me feel worse because they just say I'm depressed and I'm always in a bad mood and shit.
well fuck YOU because I can't help it
I don't want to be like this just as much as you don't want me to either..
G I V E M E S P A C E S O I C A N B R E A T H E .
I feel like I'm suffocating from everything and everyone.
even myself. I'm so tired of my fucking sick of myself.
don't act like you give a shit.
you don't even know me.
you don't know my story.
I can't fucking win with anyone or with anything.
I always fail at anything I ever try to do.
I want to be somebody else.
School was a drag. I can't stress enough how useless and uninteresting it fucking is. I am so fucking sick of everything and everyone. Today was 'okay' until the end of the day. Barbie said she'd drive me home. I forgot my coat in Strevel's class so I ran back upstairs to get it and Mr. Strevel was starting to go down the stairs and I said I needed my coat and he said it's locked I'll have to wait. well Barbie's impatient and worthless and left without me because Mr. Strevel's a fucking piece and well I went to his room and it wasn't even locked so I wasted 5 minutes listening to him telling me to wait he locked the door n shit. WOW.
I knew she would leave without me but whatever.
So I was stranded at school with no ride. that was so very sweet I liked it a lot. not. then I called my mom because I had no ride home and she was like 'ive been puking all day i haven't even gotten out of bed what if I have an attack in the car' yeah all I got out of that was blah blah blah I'm a stupid whore. then I called my brother but he was fucking on Eureka so it'd take him like a half hour to come fucking pick me up but he said he would so props for that. but he didn't cz thank god Lauren Ragen gave me a lift.
I know I am probably completely over-reacting but one little thing will happen and I freak out because I don't know anything besides bad things happening to me or in my life.
and I'm so fucking exhausted because I stayed up online talking to Kevin and Devon until like 1.
and it was completely worthless because Kevin just left in the middle of our conversation and never came back because well it's Kevin. and I got absolutely nowhere with Devon either. I'm so sick of boys they just add more stress and anxiety to my fucked up life. MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND. seriously wow.
and I also found out something about somebody that they did with somebody then hurt that somebody cz that's what they always do.
At least today I pushed out and faked a smile here and there.
at lunch I was really hyper and couldn't stop laughing. same with Earth science and math..
I really don't even know how I manage to do it anymore.
but hey it's cool to be fake and pretend everything is jim dandy. no one has to know right?
I feel like no one even really cares about me.
I FEEL SO ALONE ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
all people do is make me feel worse because they just say I'm depressed and I'm always in a bad mood and shit.
well fuck YOU because I can't help it
I don't want to be like this just as much as you don't want me to either..
G I V E M E S P A C E S O I C A N B R E A T H E .
I feel like I'm suffocating from everything and everyone.
even myself. I'm so tired of my fucking sick of myself.
don't act like you give a shit.
you don't even know me.
you don't know my story.
I can't fucking win with anyone or with anything.
I always fail at anything I ever try to do.
I want to be somebody else.