Took some from Jason..
normal people worry me
"The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself."
Homer Simpson: What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them!
George Burns: "When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
you say psyco like it's a bad thing
those who think they know everything, annoy those of us that do
Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.
God says do what you wish, but make the wrong choice and you will be tortured for eternity in hell. That sir, is not free will. It would be akin to a man telling his girlfriend, do what you wish, but if you choose to leave me, I will track you down and blow your brains out. When a man says this we call him a psychopath and cry out for his imprisonment/execution. When god says the same we call him 'loving' and build churches in his honor
everyone in life has a purpose, even if its to serve as a bad example
Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grown-ups, I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your children. Gets 'em ready for the real world.
It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
Did you ever go somewhere and realize it used to be a different place? And it dawns on you that some things are not here anymore. Of course, some other things are not here yet. And nothing seems to be where it used to be; everythings been moved. Sometimes I think if we could just put everything back where it originally was, we might be alright.
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
-- Terry Pratchett (Strata, 1981)
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I like it when a little flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
There's a moment coming. It's not here yet. It's still on the way. It's in the future. It hasn't arrived. Here it comes. Here it is...shit! It's gone.
Men don't show emotion, except rage, because it takes strength to show soft emotions. Most men don't have that kind of strength. They keep things inside. Then they kill someone.
So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
The public will never become concerned about global warming or the greenhouse effect. These words just aren't scary enough. Global means all-encompassing, warming connotes comfort., green equals growth, and house equals shelter. Growth, shelter, and all-encompassing comfort. Doesn't sound like much of a threat. Relax...
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?
No one is ever completely alone; when all is said and done, you always have yourself.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Did you ever notice how important the last bite of a candy bar is? All the while you're eating it, you're aware that you have less and less remaining. Then, as you get to the end, if something happens to that last piece, you feel really cheated.
Speaking is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose