thoughts001
maybe 2007 is heading off to a bad start. haven't been feeling like myself lately. well, i do feel like myself, only it's myself gone wrong. that's why i really hate holidays sometimes. i'm the kind of person who overthinks and over-analyzes everything. and somehow it's always easier to think about sad things than happy things. thinking always complicates things; if you just act upon your thoughts, maybe things will be alot simpler (a quote from Triumph in the Skies, a show i currently heart). hm. if only. it's still not time.
some other depressing news: i just found out that a girl who i met last winter...her mother and brother were killed in a car crash. i don't actually talk to her or anything, but still, it's just that something terrible happened to someone i know. and i can't help but think (you'll see why i should stop thinking), a year ago (edit: i just checked and this was *exactly* a year ago) i met this person and we were ice-skating and hanging out at Taipei101, and a year later, half of her family is dead. just like that. i'll risk sounding like a granny and say this: life is very, very precious and like, if you really care about someone, you should be good to him/her.
i hate it when people, specifically friends, change. i know we're not under some written contract to remain the same forever, but it's like one day you think you know someone, and the next that someone has become someone you don't recognize. maybe person thinks he/she is cooler now, but whatever. i'm pretty sure i'll remain pretty much the same as the way i am forever. i'm just like that. just me. (although this certainly me at my best, but yeah.) so when people change, i always feel like i've missed out on something. did something big happen and i was just too oblivious to notice it? things like that. another thing - and this one's a big thing - i hate it when people have no sense of loyalty. it's like, you have old friends, then you meet new friends, and then, sorry, old friends aren't good enough so they get transported into another dimension where they never existed. maybe i'm just envious that such people can take things so lightly? i dunno. but in my opinion these people aren't worth having as friends.
for the record, i also think life is already too short to spend time being drunk. can you honestly tell me that getting drunk is a good time? i dunno, maybe this calls for personal experience. but i'd rather not lose any brain cells thanks.
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i just read the above and realize how incredibly grandmotherly i sound. what am i, 40 years old?! i should just move into an old folks home already. but is being young really about ALCOHOL!DRUGS!SEX!MULTIPLE BFS/GFS!MAKING OUT WITH EVERYTHING IN SIGHT!OMGOMBOMAOMZOMK! exaggeration, but i think not.
who am i kidding? only one person can make me feel better. but said person is currently unavailable, so i guess i have to feel better by myself.
have you ever felt like a song was written for you? i have, but i just have to figure out what it means, if that makes any sense. then again, does any of the above make any sense?
人活到幾歲算短 失戀只有更短
歸家需要幾里路誰能預算
忘掉我跟你恩怨 櫻花開了幾轉
東京之旅一早比一世遙遠
nothing's wrong with me,
but all this living's just harder than it seems.
since this post is titled thoughts001, feel free to share yours. :)