The First Attempt.
When I was begging everyone to bring Sam back yesterday, I didn't think I'd be this nervous. I'm getting what I wanted. What I still want, in spite of the fact that my nerves are hating me right now. I'm sure that this is the right thing to do, but doing it is
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Go to hell Carly, whatever it is I don't freakin' wanna hear it.
Like I don't have a handle on where my life is going. Bullshit. Like I ever didn't want her to stay apart of my life. She never gets how much she means to me. It's the fucking dumbest thing in the world, and I'll never get it.
I went down the stairs, concentrating too much on not melting my keys to stop the trashcans outside from blowing up in the alleyway. Oops. Oh well, not my freakin' problem right now. Right now, I'm going to drive, probably spend the night over Madsen's, and then deal with my clueless girlfriend's crap all over again.
I got in the car, and was backing out when I heard the door open and looked over to see her getting in. What the hell...
"Don't do this! You don't want to go anywhere."
"I really do. Could you get the hell out of the car?"
"Stop the car. We'll go back inside and talk about it."
"Because talking got us really far, right?" I heard another trashcan explode, and tried to calm down. "Damn it Carly, get the hell out of the car and leave me alone. I don't want to do this right now."
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"No, I can't do that."
God damnit, this wasn't supposed to happen this way. I was supposed to make sure that we didn't fight, not show up five minutes too late and add to his anger. I wasn't prepared for this. Sam's so mad at me...if there's a way to get him to calm down, I don't know what it is.
"Because talking got us really far, right?"
"That was all my fault, Sam."
No more explosions. I have to calm him down so that Sam doesn't blow up his car with both of us in it. Going down Romeo and Juliet style is not what I had in mind when I pitched the spell idea to everyone.
Besides, it would make Madsen right. ...Why am I thinking of these things now?
"Damn it Carly, get the hell out of the car and leave me alone. I don't want to do this right now."
"No way in hell. If you drive off like this, you're going to get yourself killed."
And that's a fact, not an exageration. He doesn't know it is, but after I get him to get out of the car and calm down a little, I can explain everything. Getting to that point is the hard part at the moment.
"You're not going anywhere without me. What I said in there was wrong, I know it."
Please, stop the damn car.
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I can drive freakin' perfectly fine, thanks. I want her out of the car, I don't trust myself to keep my temper in check with her in here, and I don't want either of us getting hurt. She knows I need room to breathe after she's pissed me off enough, and she's pushing it.
God damn her, she needs to get the hell away from me for two minutes. I love her, I've always loved her, and I'm not going to stop loving her, but I don't want to be near her right now. Not with the God damn way she just talked to me upstairs.
"You're not going anywhere without me. What I said in there was wrong, I know it."
Wonderful, she knows it. She's civil and abso-freakin'-lutely calm now, and I'm not. Give it ten minutes if I try to talk to her, and she'll start a lot of bullshit and call me irrational, and then I swear I'll blow up the entire God damn house.
Why the hell is she pushing it?!
"Then I guess you're coming with me." I glared at her. I'll find a way to get her the hell out of the car in a minute, but I need to be moving first. I can't take anything else right now.
I went to back the rest of the way out when I saw her hand coming near my arm, and flames shot up on the arm rest to get her to back off. I wasn't even thinking about it, but I'm sure as hell not going to feel bad about it. "Don't. Touch me." I glared at her.
"Last chance Carly. Get the hell out of the car."
Just freakin' try me.
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I should be able to handle that. Maybe I can make him swerve over when the time comes, if I haven't already slowed him down enough to stop the whole thing entirely. If the other car is still going at the same speed, then we could be fine. If something else happened by going back, I'll worry about it when there's something I can do to fix it.
"Alright then." I sighed, putting my seatbelt on and leaning over to touch his arm. Before I could make contact, flames came up from the arm rest.
"Don't. Touch me."
"I'm sorry."
I don't know what else there is to say. At least if I keep telling him the truth, maybe it'll get through eventually. I am sorry, for all of it. He wouldn't be so angry if I hadn't gotten him all worked up about the future. I hardly remember that conversation now, I just remember crossing one line after another and then getting that phonecall from Arianna.
"Last chance Carly. Get the hell out of the car."
"No."
How can he be this mad, and keep talking to me like it's he last time I'm going to see him, and not know that he's about to do something terrible? Sam's not a stupid guy, he knows he's in over his head with his anger. The fire instincts should have been his big warning on that.
"I love you. I can't let you do this alone."
That was a great way to dramatize, wasn't it?
"I told you I was worried about our future because I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without you. Now I know, and it's not even one worth living, Sam."
Yeah, he thinks I've lost it. It kinda figures.
"You're everything to me, alright? So I need you to trust me right now and pull over."
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Can't let me do what?! Drive and get five minutes to breathe and get away from her? Why the hell can't she let me do that?!
"Whatever." I sped down the street, not giving a damn if there's any cops around. I don't care. I just freakin' don't.
"I told you I was worried about our future because I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without you. Now I know, and it's not even one worth living, Sam."
Huh?
"What the hell're you--"
"You're everything to me, alright? So I need you to trust me right now and get off of the road."
If I wasn't driving, I swear I'd freakin' strangle her. She can't say that to me, I want to stay mad. She can't act this God damn noble out of no where. I looked over at her. "You can't do this, alright? You can't pull all this shit over and over again, and just expect it to be freakin' alright every time y--"
That's when I saw the lights.
I looked back to the road, eyes wide and trying to swerve out of the way of the car that was going to hit us. "Shit." I said under my breath, and realized we weren't going to make it. God damn it. I managed to push Carly down... just in time for the crash.
Wonderful.
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Shit.
I tried to reach over and grab the wheel, hoping that at the very least Sam would get hit at a different angle than before, but he pushed me down. When I finally did feel the impact of the cars colliding I shifted my body in the seat and held on to Sam as tightly as I could to keep him from getting hurt.
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I heard the crunch of the vehicles crashing and the loud horns going off, but somehow my body felt separate from all of that. I felt one brief twinge of pain in my side as metal tightened around us. That was it.
"Sam!" I tried to move out from under him, but my legs were pinned under part of the dashboard. Luckily I wasn't in tight enough to keep me in the same exact position, but I couldn't get out either.
"Sam, wake up!"
He groaned and lifted his head a little; enough to give me a decent view of the gash on the side of his forehead.
Step one. Heal that.
"I hate to say I fucking told you so."
Pushing the two of us up from the seat as much as I could, I reached over and put my hand to his head. I focused on healing his wound, ignoring the tightness in my chest. The accident was starting to make everything feel heavy, but I didn't have a spare second to waste on trying to get us out.
In the past Sam died before anyone could get him out. If he's going to survive this, he has to be healed before anyone else gets here.
"One down. How're you holding up?"
Not waiting for an answer, I moved my hand away from his forehead since that awful gash was gone, and placed it over his stomach. Step two.
After what seemed like a long time, the energy I'd felt while I was healing Sam came to a sudden stop; the same way it always does when the 'victim' is fine.
Thank God, Arianna would kill me if I lost him again.
"I think you're okay now. I'm sorry I kept pushing you, but I knew this would happen. That's why I came back for you..."
Oh listen to that, I'm cryptic again. I wonder if I could have avoided this altogether by telling him the truth in the first place. Maybe he would have listened.
Or he would have called me a psycho and died again. Yeah, I bet Sam would have picked that one.
"I promise I'll explain everything when we get out of this." I moved back a few inches to give Sam some breathing room, but I couldn't do much since I was still stuck, and I lacked the energy it would take to force myself out.
Apparently being a slayer is useless when you're in a car accident.
I moved my hand up again with a sigh, running it gently along the side of Sam's face and looking into his eyes. I stopped when the pounding in my head forced me to close my eyes while I waited out the throbbing.
When I opened them again, everything looked a little blurry.
Damnit, my vision is starting to get all weird. That on top of the killer dashboard headache is making it hard for me to concentrate. I want to be happy now. Sam's alive. I should feel happier and less weird, I earned it.
I earned it, but all I feel is weird.
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