Another death...another day..
Today was an okay day. One of those days I feel so much emotions have been felt, that the day probably seemed to turn out ok. In the end what I thought was going to be a great day, turned out to slowly turn into an "okay" day because of certain events that happened during the evening hours. My day was as follows:
I woke up singing in the morning. Great Stuff. One of those random, not so common, mornings I wake up ready to go to school. I dont kno if it was that I was well rested or just eager to go to school, but I woke up and wasnt even tired. Got in the shower, did everything, and then waited for courtney.
In the car on my way to school, I just kept thinkin about last night and how i got jealous or whtever, and how i was going to tell a certain individual aboout it. Eh.. just a little worried. Its kinda of hard to open your heart, and tell someone exactly how you feel about something.
My School Day:
Morning : Bleh, nothing interesting, just got to see someone =)
1. Did my classwork that I had missed because of going to Ms. Aguado's first period, to learn math with Arturo. It seemed i did pretty well in the class, and the teacher wasnt even upset at me
2. This must have been the first time in like a few weeks Cobin doesnt bitch at me, for either not having my ID, wearing flip-flops, or being late for homeroom. It was a nice chill time in the office with Ms. Legree
3. Perhaps the worst period of all. Found out i got two f's tht was just great.
4. Welp you gotta love Shanoskie. Regardless of how bad my day could be, I always seem to enjoy this class. << many reasons.
5. I talked to Maire, courtney didnt show up, so Maire, took her seat, and we talked so much after such a long time. I miss talkin to her like i use to, it wud be so comforting. She help me understand some of the reasons why tht unexpected "anger" would come, and I just sort of talked it over with her, cause she knew something was botherin me, and in a sense nothing really was bothering me, but i just was really quiet in tht class, perhaps because i was thinking way too much and lettin my thoughts get the best of me.
6. Test, which i aced. I dont talk to many people in this class. Perhaps the only one is Olmen. and he is uber nice.
After school, met up with my one and only. I finally got to tell him all that i was keeping inside. Some of it i didnt tell him completly but i mean.. i will eventually. Just..its something which we both have discussed and gotten into arguments about, and i just dont wanna bring it up again and let it be the same thing al over again. Well we walked, talked, laughed, cried. etc. the normal day with someoen u love by ur side =). I'm glad now he sort of seems to understand me more. I mean i never know with him, but it seems he now understands my reasons behind everything. I want his wish to come true so badly. and he tells me it will, but only time will decide. People can chnage their mind in a blink of an eye, but he does have a pt, I told him I would never leave... and I'm so certain of that, and he tells me he would neverleave.. so why can't i just believe him? You know what.. I will. Somehow, after all the talkin crying, etc, its been 6 months or so, and I think I will open my heart to someone again. Trust in them, beleive in them 110%.. just hope the end or outcoming of this venture is not the same. (but of course, he states, there will be no end whtsoever =) ) how sweet. ILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHHH!
Ok so it was off to work. We walked to his house, he showed me his loft. Which in a way I took that as being something so special, cause he said he only wanted to share it with someone special, and in his past journal entries, he had said he had not found someone yet. Guess he now did =) which as always brings a smile on my face. We parted, and I headed to work.
Work seemed slow. I checked on my friends grandma, who has been there since Thurs. to see how she was. I got to play her official nurse today be it that Everose her real nurse, was busy with another patient. Great times for me, cause i gain experience in the feild. So yea. I checked her BP (blood pressure), checked her Iv, etc etc. family members came. I stated how i was friends with her granddaughter. she smiled.and called me pretty.= ) it was nice. I talked to her Dr. to find out more information about her. and it seems she is gradually gettin better. I learned alot about her, but i will tell my friend tomorrow about how her grandma is doin, cause I dont wanna put information up tht she doesnt want the world knwoing.
So yea it was 530 and Delores calls me in for another patient. Room 6. i checked everything and family members came to visit. In a blink of an eye, the man started moaning, he looked at his daughter who was standing next to me. The family memebers started to get worried so we had to remove them from the room. I styed in with the doctor and nurse. The man followedhis daughter's gaze as she left the room, and den never blinked again. He passed away at 542. That was the first time i had someone die infront of me. My heart seem to tear upon, and i was at my most vulnerable times at tht moment. Everyone around me, seemed to mechanically know what to do. Right down the name, take the family members to a mourning hall, sign papers, call the doctor. i just stood. Saw the doctor walk in and pull the covers over the man. He looked at me. Perhaps i had a look on my face i wasnt aware of. He placed his arm on my shoulder and said "it's natural". and like that. another soul entered paradise in the sky. It was sad.
I couldn't go home alone after that, i was sort of scared. I called my dad, and told him to come and pick me up. I was tired. 5 mins later in the car we were stuck in traffic, and i just stared out the window. and found myself in a deep sleep. i awoke wht seem hours later, only to find it was only minutes, and found myself home. i walked in tz and jojo were over doing their powerpoint presentation, so i just walked in my dad's room, grab my guitar and played for a bit. I feel asleep next to my guitar and told tz to wake me up later.
two hours later, tz jumps on the bed, and gets ontop of me, and starts rolling around, screamin wake up wake up. lol.. tht was funny. cause i just went back to sleep. then 3o mins later. again tz on top of me. i was dreamin... i cudnt help it i didnt wanna get outof mydream. For thoseconcerned.. i was dreamin about rain...=)
Now im here. it just hit midnight on the dot. I've accomplished little since i woke up. Just something happened between my dad and sister, and these are the times i wanna hug my sister and give her a big kiss, comforting her tellin her everything will be alright. I offered my help, she said nop. so.. im guessin she will be ok. But i just dont kno why she talks back to my dad, KNOWING she will get in trouble. Guess that's just her way of being.
Imma go to sleep. tomorrow i might leve school early. This has been a long update, but eh i havent written about me in awhile, so guess here u go. and update to my whole life.!
I woke up singing in the morning. Great Stuff. One of those random, not so common, mornings I wake up ready to go to school. I dont kno if it was that I was well rested or just eager to go to school, but I woke up and wasnt even tired. Got in the shower, did everything, and then waited for courtney.
In the car on my way to school, I just kept thinkin about last night and how i got jealous or whtever, and how i was going to tell a certain individual aboout it. Eh.. just a little worried. Its kinda of hard to open your heart, and tell someone exactly how you feel about something.
My School Day:
Morning : Bleh, nothing interesting, just got to see someone =)
1. Did my classwork that I had missed because of going to Ms. Aguado's first period, to learn math with Arturo. It seemed i did pretty well in the class, and the teacher wasnt even upset at me
2. This must have been the first time in like a few weeks Cobin doesnt bitch at me, for either not having my ID, wearing flip-flops, or being late for homeroom. It was a nice chill time in the office with Ms. Legree
3. Perhaps the worst period of all. Found out i got two f's tht was just great.
4. Welp you gotta love Shanoskie. Regardless of how bad my day could be, I always seem to enjoy this class. << many reasons.
5. I talked to Maire, courtney didnt show up, so Maire, took her seat, and we talked so much after such a long time. I miss talkin to her like i use to, it wud be so comforting. She help me understand some of the reasons why tht unexpected "anger" would come, and I just sort of talked it over with her, cause she knew something was botherin me, and in a sense nothing really was bothering me, but i just was really quiet in tht class, perhaps because i was thinking way too much and lettin my thoughts get the best of me.
6. Test, which i aced. I dont talk to many people in this class. Perhaps the only one is Olmen. and he is uber nice.
After school, met up with my one and only. I finally got to tell him all that i was keeping inside. Some of it i didnt tell him completly but i mean.. i will eventually. Just..its something which we both have discussed and gotten into arguments about, and i just dont wanna bring it up again and let it be the same thing al over again. Well we walked, talked, laughed, cried. etc. the normal day with someoen u love by ur side =). I'm glad now he sort of seems to understand me more. I mean i never know with him, but it seems he now understands my reasons behind everything. I want his wish to come true so badly. and he tells me it will, but only time will decide. People can chnage their mind in a blink of an eye, but he does have a pt, I told him I would never leave... and I'm so certain of that, and he tells me he would neverleave.. so why can't i just believe him? You know what.. I will. Somehow, after all the talkin crying, etc, its been 6 months or so, and I think I will open my heart to someone again. Trust in them, beleive in them 110%.. just hope the end or outcoming of this venture is not the same. (but of course, he states, there will be no end whtsoever =) ) how sweet. ILYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHHH!
Ok so it was off to work. We walked to his house, he showed me his loft. Which in a way I took that as being something so special, cause he said he only wanted to share it with someone special, and in his past journal entries, he had said he had not found someone yet. Guess he now did =) which as always brings a smile on my face. We parted, and I headed to work.
Work seemed slow. I checked on my friends grandma, who has been there since Thurs. to see how she was. I got to play her official nurse today be it that Everose her real nurse, was busy with another patient. Great times for me, cause i gain experience in the feild. So yea. I checked her BP (blood pressure), checked her Iv, etc etc. family members came. I stated how i was friends with her granddaughter. she smiled.and called me pretty.= ) it was nice. I talked to her Dr. to find out more information about her. and it seems she is gradually gettin better. I learned alot about her, but i will tell my friend tomorrow about how her grandma is doin, cause I dont wanna put information up tht she doesnt want the world knwoing.
So yea it was 530 and Delores calls me in for another patient. Room 6. i checked everything and family members came to visit. In a blink of an eye, the man started moaning, he looked at his daughter who was standing next to me. The family memebers started to get worried so we had to remove them from the room. I styed in with the doctor and nurse. The man followedhis daughter's gaze as she left the room, and den never blinked again. He passed away at 542. That was the first time i had someone die infront of me. My heart seem to tear upon, and i was at my most vulnerable times at tht moment. Everyone around me, seemed to mechanically know what to do. Right down the name, take the family members to a mourning hall, sign papers, call the doctor. i just stood. Saw the doctor walk in and pull the covers over the man. He looked at me. Perhaps i had a look on my face i wasnt aware of. He placed his arm on my shoulder and said "it's natural". and like that. another soul entered paradise in the sky. It was sad.
I couldn't go home alone after that, i was sort of scared. I called my dad, and told him to come and pick me up. I was tired. 5 mins later in the car we were stuck in traffic, and i just stared out the window. and found myself in a deep sleep. i awoke wht seem hours later, only to find it was only minutes, and found myself home. i walked in tz and jojo were over doing their powerpoint presentation, so i just walked in my dad's room, grab my guitar and played for a bit. I feel asleep next to my guitar and told tz to wake me up later.
two hours later, tz jumps on the bed, and gets ontop of me, and starts rolling around, screamin wake up wake up. lol.. tht was funny. cause i just went back to sleep. then 3o mins later. again tz on top of me. i was dreamin... i cudnt help it i didnt wanna get outof mydream. For thoseconcerned.. i was dreamin about rain...=)
Now im here. it just hit midnight on the dot. I've accomplished little since i woke up. Just something happened between my dad and sister, and these are the times i wanna hug my sister and give her a big kiss, comforting her tellin her everything will be alright. I offered my help, she said nop. so.. im guessin she will be ok. But i just dont kno why she talks back to my dad, KNOWING she will get in trouble. Guess that's just her way of being.
Imma go to sleep. tomorrow i might leve school early. This has been a long update, but eh i havent written about me in awhile, so guess here u go. and update to my whole life.!