THIS IS A SONG, FOR THE FANS....SHAKE YOUR BODY LIKE A DANCE
quizzy quiz quiz. (i apologize for its length, but it is worth it.)the question is, are YOU cool enough to smoke. ahem:
1. Approximately how many days per week do you sit on an open range wearing chaps and a stetson?
a) 1-2. (10 points)
b) Whenever the do-gies are rollin'. (15 points)
c) When you're feeling 'Kitschy.' (3 points)
2. As a woman, you would smoke in order to indicate:
a) Moral flexibility. (5 points)
b) Oral flexibility. (10 points)
c) Both a and b, plus a certain Bette Davis-like je ne said quoi. (25 points)
3. The coolest place to put out a cigarette is:
a) On the heel of your shoe. (2 points)
b) On a windswept yacht among windswept friends, with windswept, yet full-bodied hair. (10 points)
c) On the exposed forearm of a grimacing henchman. (25 points)
4. If an attractive woman asked you for a light, you would most likely:
a) Search through your all=purpose bumbag for a small emergency flashlight. (0 points)
b) Strike a match and cup your strong hands gently, tenderly, shielding her from the elements as she leans suggestively into the flame. (10 points).
c) Say 'my pleasure' in a faux-upper-class accent while flipping open your gold-plated lighter in a way the draws subtle attention to the Rolex on your wrist. ( 10 points)
5. When you dream of Joe Camel, you generally find these dreams to be:
a) Mildly erotic. (5 points)
b) Disturbingly erotic. (5 points)
c) More accurately described as erotic prophesies than dreams. (5 points)
...
Scoring:
No matter how many points you score, you are cool enough to smoke. Why? Because smoking can make you cool, even if you are not cool already. Of course, not everyone can be Marlon Brando just because they have a Lucky Strike in their mouth, but you will definitely me cooler than you are now.
not written by me, le sigh but funny all the same.
THE END!
1. Approximately how many days per week do you sit on an open range wearing chaps and a stetson?
a) 1-2. (10 points)
b) Whenever the do-gies are rollin'. (15 points)
c) When you're feeling 'Kitschy.' (3 points)
2. As a woman, you would smoke in order to indicate:
a) Moral flexibility. (5 points)
b) Oral flexibility. (10 points)
c) Both a and b, plus a certain Bette Davis-like je ne said quoi. (25 points)
3. The coolest place to put out a cigarette is:
a) On the heel of your shoe. (2 points)
b) On a windswept yacht among windswept friends, with windswept, yet full-bodied hair. (10 points)
c) On the exposed forearm of a grimacing henchman. (25 points)
4. If an attractive woman asked you for a light, you would most likely:
a) Search through your all=purpose bumbag for a small emergency flashlight. (0 points)
b) Strike a match and cup your strong hands gently, tenderly, shielding her from the elements as she leans suggestively into the flame. (10 points).
c) Say 'my pleasure' in a faux-upper-class accent while flipping open your gold-plated lighter in a way the draws subtle attention to the Rolex on your wrist. ( 10 points)
5. When you dream of Joe Camel, you generally find these dreams to be:
a) Mildly erotic. (5 points)
b) Disturbingly erotic. (5 points)
c) More accurately described as erotic prophesies than dreams. (5 points)
...
Scoring:
No matter how many points you score, you are cool enough to smoke. Why? Because smoking can make you cool, even if you are not cool already. Of course, not everyone can be Marlon Brando just because they have a Lucky Strike in their mouth, but you will definitely me cooler than you are now.
not written by me, le sigh but funny all the same.
THE END!