i cant stand the thought of myself anymore.

[_thinkagain_]

im completely careless, irresponsible and inconsiderate. i dont know how my friends and family can stomach being around me. all my decisions are made terribly. its completely gut wrenching how sorry i am, but i know nothing i do can make up for being such a lousy person. i dont deserve the people i have in my life. i dont deserve to be loved. i would spit in my own face if i could. i need to be more responsible, but this is the worst way i could possibly come to this realization. i completely understand if you dont want to talk to me.

i am utterly ashamed to be me.