Yep. It's me.

Feb 19, 2006 12:43

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insomniasuxx February 20 2006, 17:55:49 UTC
hmph.
there's really nothing anyone can say as like an appropriate response to that post, honestly.
mine will probably be considerably more inappropriate than anyone else's, but that's sort of just who i am.
you know i mean well.

That whole situation is so fucking heinous.. no one could even like imagine that feeling so i could sit here and tell you how i know where you're coming from and blah blah, but i don't. at all. You've overcome like ridiculous fucking odds though for going through something that monumental and intense that early in life and still coming out as Adam Clarke. Like do you realize how amazing you are in reality? Your father must be pulling fucking strings for you up there. If I could give you any advice, it would just be to focus on the future as much as possible. You'll have your own family one day and you can be the father you remember him being to you. Atleast you'll get that bond back one day even if it is from a different end. Seriously, right now we're caught in this horrible transitional stage of life where we're like incapable of getting any real satisfaction ever and all we're working on is the building blocks to our future. If it's any comfort to you, which I'm sure it isn't, we're all dangerously unhappy. It's tedious as hell. You don't come off as someone who's empty or lacking the morals you get from a father figure. He was there during the developmental years when you're forming the core of who you are and who you will be and I think the fact that you were influenced by him and exposed to him for some amount of time, no matter how brief, is a blessing in itself. It's like impossible to find a bright side to any of this but if you detach yourself from the situation entirely imagine choosing between a brief time with a wonderful man or a life time with some shitty crackhead loser that haunts you your entire life, embarrasses you at graduations, and gets wasted at your wedding. Quality is more important than quantity. Worship the DNA careening through your body. Basically, none of that justifies anything that happened whatsoever and you still can't help but wonder why and it probably eats you alive when you think about how unfair it all is..but you have to try to milk the situation for that little bit of positivity although i know it's easier said than done. Your father might have done more for you in those years than most fathers do for their children in a full lifetime. You're a fucking beautiful person and your father would be proud. That's probably all he ever wanted. Let him live through you.

Everytime you're feeling down, I want you to think of how shitty this guy's kids have it:




And then if that doesn't work,
think of Eddie James.
(you're white dude! smile.)

;]

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_theytsejam88 February 20 2006, 18:15:29 UTC
Oh Molly Ellis.
Life without seeing you 5 days a week is horrible. You're an amazing person and whenever I get reminded of last year's English class I smile and proceed to enjoy my day that much more. What you said is entirely correct - I didn't really think of it that way. I'm lucky to have the father I did for 11 years, and I can find some solace in the fact that 20-25 years from now I'll be able to do all of the things with my kids that I never had the chance to do with my dad.

I miss you. And have you seen Eddie lately? He might as well be white himself. =)

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insomniasuxx February 20 2006, 21:54:26 UTC
Man, I totally fucking agree.
How soon do I have to sign up if I do decide to come back?
I can see you making a really amazing father btw. You're def. that type.
I miss you very much and thankfully I never ever see Edward..excluding the ocassional nightmare.

Hey, don't insult me. He is a nigger. No more, no less.

(I pray to God he never figures out how to use a livejournal..you know he would find this and make a big wannabemartinlutherking speech about it)

ps. note to lurkers: i'm not actually racist; blackies are the shyt in my book

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