Sorry, I don't want to be your son-in-law, but thanks!
The other day at work I was sitting next to a co-worker Miriam, she's a nice older lady. Everybody at work loves me, especially the old women, haha, I don't know why but I have that affect on women. Maybe it's because I have that "fine young man" quality. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't curse around my elders, I'm polite, hold open doors, pick up stuff they drop, help them move heavy things, I don't dress thuggishly, I use proper grammar, I share, I say hello with a smile every time I see them, and of course the coup de grace; just about everybody at work knows I take care of my little brother. As far as they're concerned I'm a saint, haha.
So anyway, as I was saying, I was sitting next to Miriam, and she says "Jeff, how old are you?" and I say "I'm 24." and she says "Oh, okay. You have a girlfriend?" it's a typical old lady question, they like hearing about that kind of stuff I guess. I say "Nah." and she just says "Oh." then a few seconds later she pulls out a wallet photo and hands it to me. "This is my daughter." she says. The girl in the photo, I'm not going to say she was ugly by any stretch, but not exactly pretty, ya know? Someone I wouldn't look twice at. Plus... she was a little too... big, for my taste. I'm like "Oh... okay." Me being not the sharpest tool in the shed, I don't see where this is going. Miriam is just looking at me, studying my reaction I guess. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to a picture of someone's grown kid, but I try my best impression of a person approving of something. I just nod my head and make that odd little "not bad" expression that we all do. I hand the picture back, and Miriam says "She's 26." and I'm like "Oh, yeah?" and then Miriam says "She doesn't have a boyfriend." and I'm like "....Oh." It finally dawns on me that she's just not making conversation by showing off her daughter, she's trying to play matchmaker. I suddenly feel extremely dreadfully awkward. Miriam says "Could I introduce you?" I sort of nonchalantly mumble "I wouldn't mind." too mumbly apparently because Miriam says "Huh?" and I say "Sure", shrugging my shoulders. I really want to say no thanks, but I'm not cold hearted that I can reject someone through their mother. I couldn't think of a good excuse since I already volunteered that I was single, and it wasn't like she said a date or something, so I couldn't exactly make up some lie about being busy. So I just went along with it, I didn't know what else to do.
This was like last week. I haven't been introduced yet, and honestly I'm hoping she's forgotten. I hope her daughter like gets engaged or something soon. I don't want to meet her. That shit would be extremely weird to me. I'm not attracted to her, I don't know her, her mother is expecting us to hit it off... just too awkward for me, I'm already somewhat timid around girls as is. I don't like when people try to set people up. It's just awkward for the two victims usually. Getting set up by someone's parent is double awkward, because come on... your mom isn't going to set you up with someone because she wants you guys to have a fling or get you some tail or something. A mother wants to find you love, a husband, someone to provide for you, have kids with you, etc etc. Fuck that shit, that's way too much pressure on a first meeting.
I've told some friends about this and they said I should've said I was gay to get out of it, haha. No thanks. Nothing against gays at all, but I'm not about to start a rumor at my place of employment that I'm gay. For one, there are a few cute girls there, and they're always hiring new people, so I don't want people thinking I'm gay. For two, and this is very important, there are actual gay guys at my work. They're openly gay, and they're pretty cool dudes, but... I don't know if I want them to think I'm gay too... might cause some awkward situations.
What I plan to do is that if Miriam brings it up again I'll just say I met someone. *sigh* Why must old ladies think I'm so perfect that they want me to marry their daughters? TIS MY CURSE!!!
-stray
So anyway, as I was saying, I was sitting next to Miriam, and she says "Jeff, how old are you?" and I say "I'm 24." and she says "Oh, okay. You have a girlfriend?" it's a typical old lady question, they like hearing about that kind of stuff I guess. I say "Nah." and she just says "Oh." then a few seconds later she pulls out a wallet photo and hands it to me. "This is my daughter." she says. The girl in the photo, I'm not going to say she was ugly by any stretch, but not exactly pretty, ya know? Someone I wouldn't look twice at. Plus... she was a little too... big, for my taste. I'm like "Oh... okay." Me being not the sharpest tool in the shed, I don't see where this is going. Miriam is just looking at me, studying my reaction I guess. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to a picture of someone's grown kid, but I try my best impression of a person approving of something. I just nod my head and make that odd little "not bad" expression that we all do. I hand the picture back, and Miriam says "She's 26." and I'm like "Oh, yeah?" and then Miriam says "She doesn't have a boyfriend." and I'm like "....Oh." It finally dawns on me that she's just not making conversation by showing off her daughter, she's trying to play matchmaker. I suddenly feel extremely dreadfully awkward. Miriam says "Could I introduce you?" I sort of nonchalantly mumble "I wouldn't mind." too mumbly apparently because Miriam says "Huh?" and I say "Sure", shrugging my shoulders. I really want to say no thanks, but I'm not cold hearted that I can reject someone through their mother. I couldn't think of a good excuse since I already volunteered that I was single, and it wasn't like she said a date or something, so I couldn't exactly make up some lie about being busy. So I just went along with it, I didn't know what else to do.
This was like last week. I haven't been introduced yet, and honestly I'm hoping she's forgotten. I hope her daughter like gets engaged or something soon. I don't want to meet her. That shit would be extremely weird to me. I'm not attracted to her, I don't know her, her mother is expecting us to hit it off... just too awkward for me, I'm already somewhat timid around girls as is. I don't like when people try to set people up. It's just awkward for the two victims usually. Getting set up by someone's parent is double awkward, because come on... your mom isn't going to set you up with someone because she wants you guys to have a fling or get you some tail or something. A mother wants to find you love, a husband, someone to provide for you, have kids with you, etc etc. Fuck that shit, that's way too much pressure on a first meeting.
I've told some friends about this and they said I should've said I was gay to get out of it, haha. No thanks. Nothing against gays at all, but I'm not about to start a rumor at my place of employment that I'm gay. For one, there are a few cute girls there, and they're always hiring new people, so I don't want people thinking I'm gay. For two, and this is very important, there are actual gay guys at my work. They're openly gay, and they're pretty cool dudes, but... I don't know if I want them to think I'm gay too... might cause some awkward situations.
What I plan to do is that if Miriam brings it up again I'll just say I met someone. *sigh* Why must old ladies think I'm so perfect that they want me to marry their daughters? TIS MY CURSE!!!
-stray