*sigh*

[_thestray]

I feel like I have no fucking control of my life. I'm trapped and there isn't shit I can't do about it. I'm not in a position to change anything. There's nowhere I can go. No one who can help me. I'm just fucked. I'm fine as long as I don't think about it, and most days it's easy to not think about it because most days are fine enough to enjoy. But the problems always resurface, on a weekly basis, and I'm at my breaking point. My baby brother is the only thing that keeps me going. If he's happy on a day to day basis I can manage, and luckily he is. That's my biggest concern in the world, that that kid is happy and fulfilled and can grow into a functioning adult that is a genuinely good person. But shit man, besides being with him or friends, I'm just fucking plain old unhappy. I don't know what to do about it. I know I'm being all vague about it, but I'm not really looking for advice, I just want to vent. It's family stuff, really personal.

I'm just really tired of waiting for things to get better. It starts to feel that I'm waiting in vain. There's just always going to be some huge fucking obstacle (usually lack of money) standing in the way.

-stray