(no subject)
"What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you love. That's what matters. That's the only thing that counts."
In the past few days, I've realized a lot about the way I treat people, and the way they treat me. I also learned that as we grow older, what we need in a friend changes.
When we were younger all we needed was someone to call for homework help, someone to sit with at lunch, and go to the movies with us every friday. Those were our best friends. But I guess now that I'm older, what I need and want in a friend has dramatically changed. I miss being younger, when we never had to worry about anything. We never worried about BOYFRIENDS, BOYS, money, school, foes, sex, he said/she said, or anything. I guess that's what made being friends so easy, there was nothing to even fight about. Now there are, and I hate to say that I couldn't deal.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way that I treated you. I'm sorry for the way you treated me. I hope that we can treat our other friends and our future friends with more love and more respect. We sure as hell didn't do that with each other. I'm sorry for writing this in my livejournal. I guess I just feel like sometimes the things we want to forget about are the things which we most need to talk about.
I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy. I've been pretending to be happy for a long time now. And even though I'm back to square one, with no best girlfriends and only a long school year and work ahead of me, I'd rather be unhappy than be pretending to be happy like I have been.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There's no one, compared to you.
And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love, as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things, that went before..
I know I'll often stop and think about them..
In my life,
I loved you more.
but I sigh in realization that things are the shittiest and loneliest than they have been in a very long while. But things will get better I suppose..they always do. Soon I will make friends with a bunch of random people, call them my best friends, put them on my top friends on Myspace, and then I will see you, and my whole world will come crashing down. I feel like I've just broken up with a boy, this is ridiculous.
I FINALLY bought a new digital camera. It's cuteee. It's PANK!
In the past few days, I've realized a lot about the way I treat people, and the way they treat me. I also learned that as we grow older, what we need in a friend changes.
When we were younger all we needed was someone to call for homework help, someone to sit with at lunch, and go to the movies with us every friday. Those were our best friends. But I guess now that I'm older, what I need and want in a friend has dramatically changed. I miss being younger, when we never had to worry about anything. We never worried about BOYFRIENDS, BOYS, money, school, foes, sex, he said/she said, or anything. I guess that's what made being friends so easy, there was nothing to even fight about. Now there are, and I hate to say that I couldn't deal.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way that I treated you. I'm sorry for the way you treated me. I hope that we can treat our other friends and our future friends with more love and more respect. We sure as hell didn't do that with each other. I'm sorry for writing this in my livejournal. I guess I just feel like sometimes the things we want to forget about are the things which we most need to talk about.
I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy. I've been pretending to be happy for a long time now. And even though I'm back to square one, with no best girlfriends and only a long school year and work ahead of me, I'd rather be unhappy than be pretending to be happy like I have been.
But of all these friends and lovers,
There's no one, compared to you.
And these memories lose their meaning, when I think of love, as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things, that went before..
I know I'll often stop and think about them..
In my life,
I loved you more.
but I sigh in realization that things are the shittiest and loneliest than they have been in a very long while. But things will get better I suppose..they always do. Soon I will make friends with a bunch of random people, call them my best friends, put them on my top friends on Myspace, and then I will see you, and my whole world will come crashing down. I feel like I've just broken up with a boy, this is ridiculous.
I FINALLY bought a new digital camera. It's cuteee. It's PANK!