And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around

[_thecoloroflife]

I want something casual, which I have, but it's not that easy. I want to be able to have fun and be liberated and laugh and flirt and be lustful and not have to be wondering what he's thinking or what's going to happen or why. I want to not think about whether people will think one thing or another. Or whether it's the best option right now. I just want to drown in this moment and then deal with everything else later. So I threw myself in, once again. Maybe I didn't think everything through, but I suppose that's kind of the point. I subconciously put myself in these situations that I KNOW aren't necessarily the most logical choices, but at least something will happen then. Bad, good, amazing, horrible, at least SOMETHING exciting will happen. I just need that constant change. If I am not doing something that's causing me to question whether or not I should really be doing that, then I get bored.

I’m gonna make a mistake-
I’m gonna do it on purpose
I’m gonna waste my time
Cuz i’m full as a tick
And i’m scratching at the surface
And what I find is mine
And when the day is done, and I look back
And the fact is I had fun, fumbling around
All the advice I shunned, and I ran
Where they told me not to run, but I sure
Had fun, so
I’m gonna fuck it up again
I’m gonna do another detour
Unpave my path
And if you wanna make sense
Whatcha looking at me for
I’m no good at math
And when I find my way back,
The fact is I just may stay, or I may not
I’ve acquired quite a taste
For a well-made mistake
I wanna mistake why can’t I make a mistake?
I’m always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why
Do I wanna do right, of course but
Do I really wanna feel I’m forced to
Answer you, hell no
I’ve acquired quite a taste
For a well-made mistake, I wanna
Make a mistake, why can’t I make a mistake
I’m always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why