(no subject)
im in that mood where you just want to scream. Im in a relationship i really dont want to be in and i dont know how to get out, or if its what i 100% want. all i know is that im not happy like how i should be when youre "in love". i feel like kissing him or having sex is a chore and it should never be that way. i love him as a person but im not in love with him, he has everything i want in how to be treated but in who he is is not what i want. I need mental stimulation at all times and he doesnt give me that. Im never interested in what he has to say and he doesnt engage in what i say. Its been 7 months and 2 break ups that i did both and now i feel like 3rd times enough, i just hate when i get lonely and go back even though i know its not what i want or am looking for. I really want a girlfriend right now, like baddd. I miss being with girls so bad but i feel like there are none out there. Idk i know what i have to do i feel like shit about it though, fml